Last night was the Volunteers Christmas party at the Burntwood Court Hotel in Brierley.

As I’ve said before I’m not a big fan of Office Christmas Conveyorbelts Meals so I will try to remain as impartial as I can.

deranged86 was there as was my missis, Jill, Dave and the rest of Fundamental (they’re a lot of Fun and a bit Mental).

We had table 5. It was a huge long table tightly packed together and with stylish low down seats. I believe it is the fashion to have your knees raised while dining similarly I believe it is also the accepted norm to tag a tiny lower level table at the end of a banqueting table as long as you cover the thing with a cloth.

No sooner than we had sat down our order was taken and wine was served.

Fine Moondara Shiraz wine, in a glass.

Then in the blink of an eye the starters came round. <Gordon Ramsey Mode> The choice of starter included:-

Soup of the Day (Tesco’s finest instant powdered soup. Carefully prepared by pouring in water from a boiling kettle)
Half a melon with Raspberries (More like a desert)
Prawn and tuna cocktail (I fucking hate tuna! How dare they ruin the best starter on the menu)
Duck and Orange Pate (No matter how hard resturants try the thought of pureed livers served cold with some bread just doesn’t appeal to me)

</Gordon Ramsey Mode>

Eager waiters and waitresses snatched empty bowls and plates from the tables while another waiter walked round placing a plate in front of each diner. It is now acceptable in posh dining environments for waiters to place plates over which ever shoulder of the diner he so desires.

Next up the main courses. I thought long and hard about my meal of choice. Three weeks with turkey was going to be a chore and I really didn’t fancy Tureen of sprouts with lentils & cabbage so I opted for the beef. It seems that in stylish over priced hotel restaurants it is now the accepted way to serve as little as possible.

I honestly hadn’t eaten anything before I took this photo.

Whinging aside, the beef was spectacular. Nicely braised so that it broke up on the plate as soon as the fork touched it. Just the way I like it. The yorkshire pudding was a bit cold (and for some reason they dished up 2 per beef eater, I swapped one of mine for the wifes bacon wrapped chipolata). I suppose small portions mean faster turn around for the pudding. On the menu was:-

Dime Bar Chocolate Gateaux (Costco?)
Lemon Torte
Christmas pudding

Coffee followed and more wine and beer was drunk. The mime artists band started their stuff so I retired to the bar for some peace, quiet and cigars. I left and walked home when the room started spinning.

A good night in all, just I really wish hotels would put more effort into office Christmas dining thingies.

Hotel environment 4/5
Food 3/5
Company 5/5

Maybe Gordon Ramsey could do Gordon’s Office Christmas Party Nightmares for his next series.

*edited 26/01/20 – removing dead links to photobucket

Author: stegzy

Once, long ago, I wrote frequently on Livejournal. I then moved to Blogspot, where I discovered that blogging requires an audience. So I moved back to LJ. Then over to Dreamwidth, back to LJ, up the road of self hosting with Muckybadger before giving up entirely and moving over to Wordpress. It was at that moment I decided I would spread my compostual nonsense simultaneously across the blogosphere like some rancid margarine. And so here I am. I am a badger. But then I'm not really a badger. I am a human. With badger like tendencies. I am a writer, a film producer and a social commentator. I am available for Breakfast TV shows, documentaries and chats in the pub with journalists where I am more than qualified enough to talk confidently about absolute shite and bollocks.

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