Dear Persons of A Merry car,
Thank you very much for offering to take the two items of trash we delivered to your door this morning. I’m sure the self-titled King and Queen of Beckham will be very happy in their new home. There is no need to return the favour nor is there any need for you to return them to us when you get bored of them like you did with Peter Wingarde.
PS While we’re at it would you like Madonna back too?