>Bath time – A poem by Stegzy Gnomepants


Turn the tap on

Let the water out

Put the plug in

It’s too hot so shout

Wait for the tub

To fill to half

Then add the cold

It’s time for your bath

Mix in the bubbles

Ready the flannel

But don’t lean to hard

On the baths side panel

In with the toe

Is it too hot?

Did you take off your sock?

No! I thought not

Strip to your skin

Step into the bath

Clean behind your ears

Splish splash and laugh

And when it’s gone cold

And you’re wrinkled like a prune

Its time to get out

Until your next bath in June

Ah thank you

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Once, long ago, I wrote frequently on Livejournal. I then moved to Blogspot, where I discovered that blogging requires an audience. So I moved back to LJ. Then over to Dreamwidth, back to LJ, up the road of self hosting with Muckybadger before giving up entirely and moving over to Wordpress. It was at that moment I decided I would spread my compostual nonsense simultaneously across the blogosphere like some rancid margarine. And so here I am. I am a badger. But then I'm not really a badger. I am a human. With badger like tendencies. I am a writer, a film producer and a social commentator. I am available for Breakfast TV shows, documentaries and chats in the pub with journalists where I am more than qualified enough to talk confidently about absolute shite and bollocks.