Strange to me would be buying a loaf and coming straight home.

So last night I was in my old bedroom at my mum and dads. Weird thing was the gerbils I used to keep were still there even though nobody thought to water or feed them in the past 20 odd years. Anyway, while I’m fussing with the poor malnurished blighters an aeroplane flies over head out side. I look out of the window and see a little parachute dart being thrown out of the plane. It opens and falls onto the bit of the garden where the conservatory is now but never used to be.

The dart opens up and launches a flare which then falls and lands on the roof of the house. I can see all this because in bat shit crazy dream land you can crane your neck almost 270° . Anyway, I’m concerned at this point that such a thing could cause the house to burn down and I wasn’t keen on people finding the body that I have hidden in the attic from a previous dream. So I run down stairs to tell my olds. Of course somehow the stairs typically are longer which is a pain in the arse but I am able to glance into my old’s bedroom and see there is a naked man lying on their bed.
Very odd really but I’m not going to get side tracked by naked men while my inheritance burns down around my ears so I get downstairs and tell the olds, who, typically, don’t believe me. Of course then there is an almighty bang…like a really loud bang that makes the house vibrate. And I wake up. Sounds like a case of Exploding head syndrome to me….

Anyway. I suspect this is all because the people across the road have been building this mysterious structure for the past few months.


At first I was like “oooh what are they building there?” And then I kind of guessed it must be some sort of decorative barbeque.

Until yesterday…..

When this arrived….


Now I wasn’t too sure whether that was being delivered or picked up….until this morning…when I noticed this….


…complete with boiler, belt race and bracket…

So then my lightening quick brain kicks into gear….they’re building….A PIT HEAD!

A chuffing pit head.
In their garden.

As a patio feature…..


But ace 😀

I am concerned though….about how they are going to get that big chuffing wheel up without damaging their greenhouse….

Author: stegzy

Once, long ago, I wrote frequently on Livejournal. I then moved to Blogspot, where I discovered that blogging requires an audience. So I moved back to LJ. Then over to Dreamwidth, back to LJ, up the road of self hosting with Muckybadger before giving up entirely and moving over to Wordpress. It was at that moment I decided I would spread my compostual nonsense simultaneously across the blogosphere like some rancid margarine. And so here I am. I am a badger. But then I'm not really a badger. I am a human. With badger like tendencies. I am a writer, a film producer and a social commentator. I am available for Breakfast TV shows, documentaries and chats in the pub with journalists where I am more than qualified enough to talk confidently about absolute shite and bollocks.

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