Inspired by both logacat & vatoengland‘s Weekend visits to Cathedrals:-
A guide to some of the most awe inspiring and beautiful places visited by stegzy Gnomepants
Sometimes I think, “Hey I wonder where I can take so-and-so so that they may see the beauty of Liverpool/UK/The World” and often the same places come up time and time again. Therefore I thought I would post a definitive guide to the places I think are worthy of a visit. So, if you are planning a trip to the UK, a whirlwind tour of the British Isles or just looking for ideas for places to go then you might be interested in this list.
1. Aberdaron & the Llyn Peninsula
Situated in the far north west of North Wales (just kind of south west of Anglesey) the Llyn Peninsula stretches like a claw into Cardigan Bay and the Irish sea. In the summer the Llyn is warm and sometimes very sunny when the rest of the UK is shrouded in thick grey clouds and pissing pouring rain and makes an idea escape for those in the North West though most people seem to stop at Rhyl or Porthmadog.
Aberdaron nestles in a sheltered bay and is host to two “expensive” hotels , countless camp-sites and holiday homes. It has, what I deem, the finest seafood restaurant in the world (damn it!), Pen Bryn Bach; a mighty fine cafe; an ancient church, St Hywyn’s; and makes an ideal centre for any relaxing holiday. (I would suggest though that unless you are a hard core beach bunny, a committed walker or someone that likes a quiet holiday then the Llyn is probably not for you as other than beaches, beautiful scenery, breathtaking walks and a sleepy easy pace there is not much to do. The nearest nightclub is Bangor (about 30 miles away), Aberdaron is not reknown for pulling chicks and the locals don’t like rowdiness (and neither do I for that matter)).
But don’t just leave it at Aberdaron. There are many other lovely places to see: Uwchmynndd and Brych y Pwll over look Bardsey Island (Bardsey Island is a day trip that I am yet to do, it costs something like £30 for the boat fare and once there there is nothing much to do if you don’t like walking) and has some of the most awe inspiring beautiful untouched scenery you will ever see. You might also take a day trip to the summit of Mynnedd Rhiw, from the top of which, on a clear day (and with really good eyesight), you can see Angelsey, Snowdon, Fishguard and right across the Llyn. When you get bored of the view why not pop down to Plas-yn-Rhiw, which is an old ram shackle mansion with some lovely original features and period furniture.
Abersoch is a popular place with water sporters (not that type you dirty bugger!) yachters, swingers (yes that type) and surf dudes. It boasts at least four fantastic restaurants including a mighty fine Mexican eatery with the finest swordfish steak you will ever taste. There is also a good bucket and spade shop there for all your sandcastle building needs.
Pwllheli is a bit further along the coast. It has a weekly market, tea rooms and some high street shops (it even has a Dixon’s). It is Pwllheli that you would head for by train as this is as far as the line goes now. But you can find a good selection of buses and the local taxi is always busy, especially in the summer.
Don’t fancy heading out that way? Well why not get your golf clubs and head off to Nefyn? Nefyn is host to a splendid cliff top golf course and also has a special little secret….the tiny fishing hamlet of Porthdinllaen. (If you go, check out Ty Coch, they sell damn fine chicken and mushroom pie with beans :-))
In case you haven’t guessed this part of the world is my favourite place ever. So much so I want my ashes scattered there and, if possible, an inscribed bench on the quayside of Aberdaron. No doubt it wont happen though 😉
2. St Davids and The Pembrokshire coast
Wales again. This time the opposite end. angelhands and I spent a summer travelling round the coast of Wales in 2001. We liked this area so much we stayed there for four days! St Davids is reputedly the smallest city in the world. Only technically a city, St Davids is a quiet sleepy little village which just happens to have a cathedral. The Cathedral is very old and has the ruins of an ancient monastery in its grounds. Steeped in history and daubed with beauty its no wonder why so many people found God here. My only complaint was that there were far too many tourist buses and annoying tourists (though most of these tended to be Saga Holiday people who smelt of Lavender and stale biscuits). As it is a magnet for the elderly there is also a plethora of tea rooms and cafés though the village pub, which I think was called the Glan y Mor, is nice and cosy and it does accommodation too. Camping is good at Caerfai Bay Farm which sports an organic farm shop with yummy yummy muesli 😉
Also in the area is Haverford West. A charming olde worlde town with its little castle and variety of tat shops and Fishguard from where you might set sail for Dublin on the ferry. This too is charming and has an Eisteddfod stone circle which certainly doesn’t look out of place.
I visited the The Postojna Caves when I was 11 and when it was still in Yugoslavia. A most astounding place filled with beautiful stalactmite and stalactite formations. It is also host to strange pink fish, a subterranean beetle and a weird rare spider. If you go then I thoroughly recommend a visit to the vivarium where you can see these marvels of nature. It is only half a days trip from Rabac in Croatia which is also a lovely little place and an ideal centre for those holiday makers who like variety and culture on their vacational menu. As I said when I went there it was still Yugoslavia and my memory of the place is based on those times. However I fear it may have changed a little bit since.
4. Hawes
angelhands and I spent a few days here last year on our wet holiday. Hawes makes an ideal centre for those wishing to explore the beauty of the Yorkshire dales. There are many little market towns within driving distance, walks and even Hawdraw force, one of Britains tallest single drop waterfalls. Again, not for you party animals who prefer the likes of Ayanapa or Ibiza, but well worth a visit.
5. Borrowdale and the Lake District
You know when it rains and all the trees and plants becomes that vibrant green colour? Well Borrowdale is like that. All year round. Legend has it that Borrowdale is the wettest place in the UK. I totally recommend staying at the Youth hostel there and if possible walking there from Keswick. The village has a nice little boozer that does pleasant evening meals and the hostel is popular with outdoor types. I’ve had many a happy time smoking many spliffs in the hostel grounds. Its a good place to commune with nature and it is so relaxing there. I haven’t been since 1991 but it really can’t have changed that much. Can it?
Not been here for years either. Though this year the plan is to go to Cornwall for our holliers. Similar to the Llyn, Cornwall and St Ives have breathtaking scenery but with that added touristyness (kissmekwik hats, over priced eateries, kebab shops and wankers). The church at St Ives was used in Raise the Titanic and one of my engineering heroes, John Smeaton (designer of the Eddystone Lighthouse) lived here. There is also a damn fine ice cream shop on the quay side and the area is popular with watersporters (no not that type), fishers, surf dudes and the 4×4-blonde-hair-muscles-6 bedroom house-in-Buckinghamshire brigade.
But don’t just stay in St Ives. Go to the other places around. Lands End…where you have to take out a mortgage just to even see over the edge of the cliffs; St Michaels Mount..which always reminds me of Five go to Smugglers Top; Penzance…charming olde worlde and full of Charvers; and Zennor…where the mermaids live.
You know when you think about Victorian Northern Britain? And you think of the narrow cobbled streets and the black satanic soot clad buildings with people in flat caps on bikes, steam engines and the smell of coal fires? Well this is where it comes from. Howorth not only is my favourite part of West Yorkshire but it also get the BRIAN BLESSED shout of Approval. I think maybe because he lived here once but I may be mistaken. If you get bored of walking round the Victorian shops or you can’t be arsed travelling on the bloody choo-choo train then why not fuck off back into your car and head up to Stanbury and the Old Silent Inn. If that doesn’t inspire your awe…then you should stick to raves mate. Believe me…it is silent there! Oh yes….eerily so.
8. The Hole of Holcrum, Goathland and the Saltergate Inn
Blown away by the quietness of Stanbury? Fancy looking round some posh peoples gardens and houses? Want to go somewhere and go “Eeh I recognise this place from some telly show”. Well Goathland is for you. Its where they film that dreadful bollocks Heartbeat but fear not…for just up the road you have The Hole Of Holcrum, a huge natural glacial scar which just beggars belief and The Saltergate Inn, an old coaching house with a sinister past. Of course there’s also Whitby and Scarborough. Both lovely sea side towns with a lot to offer.
Castleton is just fucking amazing. Im sorry. I cannot get more descriptive than that but I’m damn sure logacat will agree with me. How the whole place doesn’t crumble into the caves underneath I have no idea. I recommend an entire day trip here that way you can do all the caves (some are poo some are fantastic) and maybe go to the castle as well. Scott and I have a secret plan that one day we will go to Castleton and steal a huge column of Blue John, a semi precious stone found in abundance in the caves under Castleton. The logistics of this plan are still in development stage but we’re working on it.
The caves have some remarkable formations and are open most of the year round. A must for all you subterranean types.
10. St Jean de Luz, South West France
Hot, sandy beaches. Busty French babes. Fine food and spitting distance from Biarritz and its casinos. What more do you want? Blood??
The Compostual Existentialist 