Car

So, I stood there. Rolled up ciggie in my gob. Overalls on. Smeared engine dirt on my face and looked at the car.

I tutted.

Opened the car. Sat in.

Tried to start engine.

No joy.

Exhaled smoke into car.

Tried to start engine.

No joy.

Sucked air through teeth.

Sighed.

Popped bonnet.

Looked at engine for a few moments.

Sucked air through teeth.

Had a tea break.

Made another rolled cigarette.

Smoked that.

Had another tea break.

Looked at the car again.

Sucked air through teeth.

Told myself “Could be your alternator”

Told myself that it was typical of cars of that age.

Sighed.

Tutted.

Smoked some more.

Had another tea break.

Reached under bonnet and reconnected wire.

Sighed.

Tutted

Had another tea break.

Had another rolled up ciggie.

Sat in drivers seat.

Started engine.

First time.

Sighed

Tutted.

Charged myself £300 for phantom fitted part.

Had another tea break.

Cork

After last nights events I told the wife it would only take one more major incident and I’d be moving back to Liverpool or somewhere (though not down south because its too tense there…maybe somewhere up north and rural like Berwick on Tweed or Barnards Castle). Anyway, she agreed with my sentiments but I think she thinks I’m over reacting.

I feel like I’ve won the lotto only to find the money I won is tainted with the blood and lives of millions of innocent victims of genocide. The house is lovely, Brierley and parts of Yorkshire really picturesque. I just wish there were better jobs and the nasty thieving scum bag people would all get taken to some far off place (like Felixstowe or Colchester) to spend their time with their hands behind their back, on their knees with bags over their heads and abused by shouty military type people. Without trial….like they do in other countries…

Jill, the wifes bosses wife, called last night too. She was with the wife when they realised the car had been burnt out. She called to give the wife the number of the police station so that she could report the damage to the car. Jill runs the drama group, I volunteer at, at the wife’s work, outside of which the car was pinched.

Jill: And that’s the number. Its terrible what’s happened
stegzy: Yes it is. But what to do eh?
Jill: Will you be at drama Thursday night?
stegzy: As long as I’ve got somewhere safe to park my car…yes.

Electrical work is almost complete. I was pleased to capture a car on the Gate cam at 4am this morning thanks to the sparkly new security light. Turns out it was G-the-human-dog on his way out to the flower market. (He’s organising a funeral for his mother in law who died the other night). I’m really impressed with the way that the camera works. I might fork out the £20 for the actual software licence….unheard of I know!