Fire

**Bang**
What was that?
Fireworks dear go back to sleep
**Bang**
Are you sure?
No!

So I got out of bed, put on my jeans and slippers and went into the lane-with-no-name. Flames, at least 10 foot high were licking the trees on the boundary of the Brierley Social Club and Mr Pritchards garden. Behind which 3 or 4 cars were parked! All of which were on fire and going POP with frightening regularity.

“What can you see?”
“Call the fire brigade!”

4am in the morning. The fire brigade are there now, the lane blocked at the top by a car, their access not thwarted because of the nature of hoses.

This is the fourth fire in as many weeks. Looks like Brierley has an arsonist.

Local News – Famous Nobody switches on some fairy lights

It was the switching on of the christmas lights in Barnsley last night. I didn’t go, I wasn’t told about it until about an hour before hand. I also didn’t go because it wasn’t me that was asked to switch on the lights, which of course, I am deeply bitter about. Still. Who wants fame eh? Frightfully awful people with bad cocaine habits and questionable taste in sexual activities probably.

Continue reading “Local News – Famous Nobody switches on some fairy lights”

Who the fuck are you?

Two things are annoying me at the moment. One is Ascot and the other is Jenni Trent-Hughes. I’ll come to Ascot in a later post.

Jenni fucking Trent-Hughes has been a guest on BBC Breakfast talking on a variety of topics this week. From the look of her site and her fucking Wikipedia entry she is some sort of selfstyled gob on legs.

Take for example the variety of topics discussed this week on Breakfast.

Monday

Bill Turnbull – Today we are discussing childhood poverty and I’m joined today by childhood expert Jenni Trent-Hughes

Tuesday

Dermot Murnaghan – Today we are discussing the use of salt in breakfast cereals and I’m joined today by columnist Jenni Trent-Hughes

Wednesday

Sian Lloyd – The use of lego in torture centres across the globe is a concern to all and sundry. To discuss this I am joined by Jenni Trent-Hughes

Thursday

Bill Turnbull – Just who or what killed Ötzi the Iceman? A mystery still unsolved today, to help discuss this I’m joined by our resident expert on every fucking topic known to man, woman, their dog and their second cousin twice removed Jenni fucking Trent fucking Hughes

Like who the fuck is she?! This morning she was there with Bill and Sian and some hideously frightful banshee shrieking on about the socio-acceptable use of mobile phones. Speaking on our behalf. Like she was societies chosen spokesperson. Well I got news for you missis. You’re not my spokesperson!

So she sits there all smug and she has this air of superiority about her discussing things in her matter of fact way. Joking with Bill and Sian like they’re in some sinister kinky sex cult. Same time, same channel, every day. Where do they find these freakish people from? If they asked me to talk on something like quantum physics or the effect of bananas on the Finnish economy or the Socio-Economic History of the Ottepki Tribe 2863BC-238AD, all subjects I know little about, I too could spout shit for five minutes in a convincing and yet authoritative way. I’m sure, if hard pressed, the BBC could find a different person to talk authoritatively about everything and anything they know fuck all about simply by boarding a commuter train first thing in the morning or even nipping out to the local fucking corner shop. I really don’t want to see her face on my TV again. Well maybe not entirely….I’m sure JTH is knowledgeable about some things but fucking hell… enough! Please!

Course nobody outside the UK will probably find this post relevant but there you go….

Addendum: This post originally appeared on Livejournal in 2007. A comment was made proporting to be from Ms Trent-Hughes and a rebuttal made. Ms Trent-Hughes has not been seen on BBC Breakfast since. Can I have her job?