Banning Kids – A Problem Solved

Kids & Antisocial Behaviour

Ok..there’s been a lot in the news recently about gangs of marauding kids terrifying adults; kids playing “happy slapping”; kids wearing hoodies and goth stuff striking fear into the heart of elders; kids attacking adults; kids attacking other kids; kids mistaking batteries for smarties; generally kids being a nuisance.

These marauding shit bags go about causing havoc then blame any of the following

  • Violence in films certified 18+
  • Drugs
  • Drink and alcohol
  • Keith Chegwin
  • Hooded tops or Hoodies
  • Lack of parental discipline
  • Lizard men
  • Violence in computer games
  • Video and non-video cell phones
  • little Johnny
  • Broken family homes
  • Far too liberal parents
  • Lack of youth facilities
  • poor diets
  • music
  • Youth orientated magazines that feature articles of a sexual nature

As this reign of terror continues there will be calls to ban or control availability of

  • mobile phones without video capability
  • mobile phones with video capability
  • Certificate 18 movies
  • Porn
  • Cigarettes
  • Sugar
  • fire
  • guns
  • knives
  • hoodies and other hooded vestments
  • donkeys
  • sharp edges of paper
  • scary moments in Dr Who
  • video games that feature violence and gore
  • radiators
  • rock music
  • FHM, Just 17, Bunty, Fly-fishing Weekly
  • Fishing rods
  • Smarties
  • Batteries
  • Bull Bars on 4×4’s

All things, including Bunty, that are enjoyed by us adults and sensible types. So we are made to suffer when they are banned or controlled or made to feel like uncaring types. Like being at school and some wanker fucks about and doesn’t own up so the whole class gets kept behind after school or is banned from going on the field trip to the aspic jelly factory or something thus ruining our lives because we really wanted to go into a career involving the manufacture of aspic jelly and by not being allowed to go we fail to attain our lifes ambition, or something.

Anyway, to save all this problem….

The solution is easy

Channel 4’s Brat Camp

What a bunch of horrible little shits!

What an inspiration!


Brat Camp sends a bunch of arrogant, lazy, well to do, poor me’s on holiday but they dont know it to a tough camp somewhere in America. This time its a ranch run by cowboys with attitute and beards. The idea is that they get a bit of toughening up and then helped to appreciate that they can’t go through life acting like twats.

Now I can see the ethos behind it. I can grasp the reasons why 90% of the kids are the way they are. But I cant see why theres nothing like this in the UK!

Thing is I might be slightly jealous. If I was as rude, obnoxious and as naughty as any one of those kids when I was a kid I’d have felt the crack of my dads hand on my ear and sent to bed with no TV, computer, contact or whatever. Indeed if i’d even suggested that my mother should fuck off in any shape or form I wouldnt be sat here now….well I might be but I’d be using a stick to hit the keys….well maybe thats an exaggeration but I’d seriously have a cauliflower ear….Yet what do THEY get??? eh??? eh????