Daventry Local Elections 2014

Well, the day is at hand. Tomorrow is election day and I am still to receive any form of communication (other than the tweets from Emma Collins) from any of the candidates running tomorrow.

 

I was unable to write profiles on the Liberal Democrat candidate or the Trade Unionist. Purely because I couldn’t find anything out about them. They too, like the Labour candidate, appear to not want to be elected and are happy to fritter away their deposit on a whim.

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I suppose it’s like betting on horses or entering the National Lottery. Only with a higher stake.

 

It’s a sorry state of affairs when the candidates in the local area just aren’t bothered about promoting their cause. It’s a sorry state of affairs when potentially good candidates give up before they’ve even started the race.

 

Tomorrow I will vote in two elections. The local and the European. I know nothing about any of the candidates other than bold brags about how they are going to stand up. Well I’ve got news. I’m going to stand up.

 

None of you candidates are worth the lives of the thousands of soldiers who died in the Great War 100 years ago. Not one of you. You should be ashamed and you are an affront to democracy. No wonder that the youth are disconnected from politics. No wonder fascist groups are on the rise in the UK and EU. It is even no wonder great minds and thinkers are leaving this country for other more enlightened parts of the world. When people like you are all the people have to select as their voice once every few years. Prove me wrong. Come canvassing in Norton tomorrow. I’m in all day. Come and tell me why I should vote for you. Contact me via this blog, twitter or where ever. I’ll meet you. Convince me you are doing this for your own beliefs and not some misguided attempt at getting your name on a park bench when you die.

 

And so, to you dear reader, all I can urge you to do tomorrow is vote. Vote for the candidate you feel is worthy of the job of representing you in the European parliament. Vote for the candidate who you feel will do the best for your local area. Remember their promises and, if they default on them, use your greatest weapon against them to bring shame upon them. Your democratic vote and your freedom of speech.

 

While, of course, you still have them.

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STOP PRESS–DAVENTRY LOCAL ELECTIONS 2014

Following on from yesterday’s twitter conversation with the Labour Candidate for Weedon Ward, Daventry, Northamptonshire in the Daventry Local Elections 2014. I received this tweet:

 

 

tweet3

 

 

What does that mean? “We are not leafleting Weedon ward”? Well how are you going to get the electorate to know who you are and what you are going to stand for? How can the electorate be informed?

 

Imagine. “Yes, well we’re not going to tell people what our key products are we’re just going to open and hope for the best”

 

Only someone with totally misguided confidence would run in a local election and not tell the voters who they are and what they stand for. Good for you Mrs! Good for you! You’d have been better off spending the electoral deposit on something like a trip to Cromer. Or some cakes.

 

“Dav Labour Doing good work” – How? Where? What sort of work??

 

“Standing up for local services…” – On the bus because they need a seat? In a field? Doing the hokey cokey? – “…and a living wage for DDC staff”

 

Well as a member of the public who isn’t a member of Daventry District Council, what good is that for me?

 

Honestly! What on earth?! It’s as if she doesn’t want to win.

 

Ah well…The offer still stands…Come and tell me why I should vote for you…

Daventry Local Elections 2014–Emma Collins

Every election – local, European or General – I offer the local candidates the opportunity to come and tell me why I should vote for them.

This year I am providing insights into the candidates running in the Weedon ward in Daventry.

And, so it seems, is the BBC.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-northamptonshire-27471122

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Emma Tiny Picture Collins

Today, Emma Collins – Labour.

Now, considering that Daventry is a crucial Conservative hot spot you would expect a lot of campaigning by the opposition parties. Not so here in sleepy Norton. Sure, European election leaflets have fluttered unbidden onto my door mat but local candidates seem to be few and far between.  Considering the election is only a few days away, the opposition candidates had better get a move on if they want possible swing voters to make their minds up.

I have no leaflet for Ms Collins. I knew nothing about her, her policies, what issues she feels strongly about or whether like Mr Smith she likes to have a poo in a field before standing up and fighting builders. With her fists.

So, using my l33t skills and well honed research methods, I had a poke about on the internet to see what I could find out about Ms Collins. It’s scary what you can find about people online, or so they say. Heh, that’s why, I suppose, I don’t use my real name online.

And never have.

Anyway, I know where she lives but where’s the fun in that. I mean this kind of information is given by the election’s returning officer and in the election notices. Turning up unbidden on her doorstep is a bit creepy so I wouldn’t do that. Although I suppose I could go canvassing. You know like candidates do only as a voter…Or will that get me arrested…Maybe not eh?

So the first port of call was Google. Using a bit of Googlefoo, I was able to find Ms Collins’ twitter account. So let’s do this in real time and send her a tweet…

 

tweet1

I’ll post her response if it comes….

Her feed seems to be akin to Mr Chris “I’ll block you if you question my insistence that Margaret Thatcher was the best thing that happened to the UK” Heaton-Harris. Jokes, asides and retweets of the odd bit of opposition political linkage. Nothing that says “Hey, intarwebz, I am young and clued up about social media and know how to market myself as a potential politician! Vote for me!”

Nothing that says “I’ll have a fight with navvies in a field if they so much as look at it through the windscreen of a JCB”

In fact there’s nothing. Nothing political…Couple of possible leads but out of decency I won’t mention those. But I did find three Emma Collins on Facebook in the Northamptonshire area. None of which, look like the tiny picture above, they all look like they’re still in school.

Ok, so let’s check the old Twitter feed….

Oooh! Look! She’s replied!

 

tweet2

 

So it’s off to the local press.

Good old Gusher. They are now part of Johnston Press so their website isn’t very good. Their weekly newspaper is often a bit low on gripping local news and is more akin to the old “Man who Once Passed through Daventry Met Elvis” kind of headline. But none-the-less, we should all use our local press or we will lose them. And then where would we be for news about Angry People, new toasters in Estate agents or cats stuck up trees.

Anyway, a quick search on the site brings me:

Nothing.

Nada.

Not a peep.

A few articles containing the words “EMMA” and “COLLINS” but nothing about our candidate. Meh.

Maybe my skills aren’t as l33t as I think. Maybe Emma Collins is still waiting for her leaflets to come back from Vistaprint. Maybe she’s going to pull out all the stops on Thursday by filling the sky with giant letters explaining what her policies are. Maybe now she’s heard of me, she’ll take me up on my offer of joining me in the White Horse in Norton so she can tell me why I should vote for her.

 

Or maybe not.

 

I’ll let you know if she gets back to me before Thursday…

Daventry Local Elections 2014–David Smith

Continuing my insights into the local council elections in Daventry, covering the Weedon ward.

 

“Parliamentary politics do not belong in local government” – Mr Pritchard, Barnsley

 

Too true. And yet most local elections end up being a barney between central government sponsored councillors. It makes me wonder where all the funding put into the promotion of the candidate goes, because they surely can’t be spending it on the crappy, poorly spelt leaflets that they shove through the door when everyone is at work.

Today – David Smith, Conservative

 

David Smith
David “Don’t pick on me” Smith

 

This is he. I think. He looks like the kind of person one might have experienced at school. The one who hangs around with the School Governor’s kid as their minion.

Oh look….

 

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Vote for us or we’ll have your lunch money.

I was right…There he is with the school governor’s kid. Chris Heaton-“I block people I disagree with on Twitter”-Harris.

The leaflet that one of his acolytes posted through my door is laid out as a letter on one side and what he’s going to do on the other.

Apparently  he is the:

“Local Choice for Weedon Ward”

Which is curious as for once, they’re all local people.

He’s also a “Hard working local campaigner” and he is “Standing up for the issues that matter to you and your family”.

Really? He must be very tired. I look forward to meeting him in the White Horse, Norton, so he can stand and tell me about these issues and why I should vote for him.

He’s lived in Weedon for 7 years with two daughters and two grandchildren. Two grandchildren? Really? At your age?

He is a local business man who has run a successful business  for the past few years. What that business is, I have no idea. Perhaps it is yoghurt weaving.

He’s been a member of the Weedon Neighbourhood Planning Group – never heard of them, and believed that local people deserve a say over the way their village looks and feels – That’s nice of him.

 

Shitting
Standing up for issues by having a shite

He will be campaigning against large scale and inappropriate developments in our future  – so that’s the proposed Giant Phallus development scuppered.

He also mentions broadband, the Weedon Bypass and Over development – yes, those pesky washed out photographs are a nuisance.

He hopes to me me on my doorstep during his campaign. I hope so too. Then he can tell me:

– What he’s going to do about fuel prices in Daventry

– How he’s going to increase sustainable employment opportunities in Daventry

– What he’s going to say when he’s enjoying a council tax paid for lunch at my expense (and it better not be “Thanks”)

On the reverse there are three priorities highlighted.

Protecting our villages – He’s going to fight to ensure our villages remain preserved and unspoilt. I look forward to seeing him getting into fisticuffs with 20 burly navvies who are trying to erect a housing estate.

 

feeting darn pontie way
David Smith wants to fight with builders and planners. Something I’d pay to watch.

 

Fight over development in our villages – Yes, Max Spielmann must be stopped!

 

Give you a voice – I have one. You’re reading it.

 

He goes on to talk about what has been achieved so far:

 

Low council tax – really? Can’t say I’ve noticed

 

Opposition to inefficient windfarms – If they were inefficient, there wouldn’t be so many of them.

 

Improving frontline services – I’m sure the Tommies will be pleased. Over the top please…

 

Attracting inward investment into our district – Yeah, that’s taxes in another language. There should be more investment in the area, agreed, but not just at the expense of the people that live here

 

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Smithy reckons he built this with his bear hands.

 

 

A new University Technical College – You did that single handed did you? I don’t think so.

 

Standing up for local people to protect our beautiful countryside – Have a seat mate.

 

Weekly food waste collection service – An EU requirement, not something you can take credit for I’m afraid.

 

Supporting DACT and Advice Daventry – How? Please explain.

 

Free parking throughout our district – Except at the country park.

 

Working for more affordable housing – Whilst stamping on development and proposals for new housing? That’s a bit contradictory. Please explain.

Or he's going for a stroll.
Look out! He’s standing up! In the countryside! He’s looking for a fight!!

I smell the freshness of the countryside. Oh no, sorry it’s the shite pouring from your election leaflet.

The offer still stands Mr David Smith. Come and tell me why I should vote for you in the 2014 Daventry Local Elections. Stand up and tell me. Like you promised.

Wouldnt buy a used car from this guy.

Daventry Local Elections 2014–John Gale

daventry-mb21-01One of the differences with local elections that I have noticed here in Daventry is that the local candidates like to shove leaflets through the door.

In Brierley, I think we only had one or two leaflets through the door with the majority of local political news coming from the Barnsley Chronicle.

Here in Daventry, the local press The Daventry Express or “The Gusher”, is as political as The Beano. I understand that such is the fate of local newspapers.

I’ve also noticed that local candidates here don’t seem to use the internet effectively. So as a favour, I will examine each of the candidates that shove leaflets through my door. Right here….On the internets…..for ALL to see.

 

Today is John Clifford Gale

Full of wind
Full of wind

 

John Clifford Gale is, according to his leaflet, my UKIP candidate for Daventry District Council Weedon Ward. He has lived in Northamptonshire for 35 years and has worked on the parish council in Brington

On the front of his leaflet:-

We Don’t Just Need a Breath of Fresh Air. We Need A Gale

Really? We need strong winds in the area? Damage to trees, chimneys and rooftops? I don’t think so

Not only is this country governed by Brussels – your local councils are governed by their political parties.

Curious. There I was thinking my taxes went to fund booze orgies for the privileged in London. So what’s with all the goings on in London then? If the country is being governed by Brussels why am I paying for Cameron’s cronies?

Then you say that my local councils are governed by their political parties…

Ok, let me look at the list of candidates again. Yep, UKIP, Tory, Labour, Libdem…nope….I can’t see any parties from Brussels there. Christian Democrats? Nope can’t see them. Social Democrats? Nope. Oooh ooh LIBERAL DEMOCRATS! I can see them. But they’re only a weak ineffective wedge in government and hardly swamping us with ineffectual laws and policies.

On the reverse of the leaflet:-

John Gale believes that:

The new housing development planned for New Croft Weedon should be questioned

Really? The residents and the buildings? The planners? Or the people on the council who allowed it? Well, it’s UKIP so I suspect he means the residents. Drag them in for questioning! Why do you not conform? Why?! Why?!

We deserve a review of our local bus services

Why? There are more buses here in the Daventry district than anywhere else I’ve lived. Heck, there’s even a bus that goes past my house once a week. Unless you mean that the only thing we deserve is a review of local bus services. You know, so you can carry on with your sinister shenanigans in the council chambers unbridled.

Let’s see more Police around our district

More police? Oh yes of course, because as a member of a local council you have control over police budgets and policing levels. No doubt the need for more police will be so that Mr Gale and his jack booted friends can make sure the electorate are conforming and doing as they are told.

Dog fouling is out of control

John Clifford Gale is Full of shite
Shit shit everywhere

Out of control! That must mean that there are heaps and heaps of dog shit filling the streets. Poor little urchins wander through the lanes and byways of the region, knee deep in festering poop crying and begging for a small morsel of food.  Oh the horror. The smell. The humanity.

The only shite I’ve seen around Norton is this leaflet Mr John Clifford Gale has pushed through my door. That’s out of control.

Wind farms will ruin our stunning local landscape

 

Oh the railways/canals will spoil the countryside and go through our lands”. That’s what your lot said about the railways Mr Gale. We dun’t liek change round here

millsnpylons
Which is nicer?

Windfarms will bring lots of lovely cheap energy and remove the need of marching pylons in the area. Moreso than a high speed white elephant stretching from London to Birmingham sucking all the regional talent away from the areas that need them most.

There should be more Local Surgery Facilities

 

Really? Is this so your jackbooted friends can perform labotomies on those that don’t conform? Or do you mean Surgeries run by the local politician? Or perhaps you mean more facilities in the local surgeries? You know like slides, snack bars, bingo for the over 60s…that kind of thing?

Pot Holes: Enough is enough

I had a pot hole once. Curiously it was filled the other week.

I’m sorry Mr John Clifford Gale, UKIP candidate in Weedon ward, Daventry. Your beliefs as advertised on your leaflet do not appeal to me. Tell me about what you’re going to do about the shit broadband speed in the area. Tell me about what you are going to do about the speeding idiots that pass my house every day? Tell me what you’re going to do to encourage employment, education and facilities in the Daventry area. Dog shit, windfarms and coffee shops at the doctors aren’t going to cut the mustard.

Come on. John Clifford Gale, UKIP Candidate for Weedon, Daventry. Take me up on my challenge and tell me face to face why I should vote for you.

Paint the town green

I grew up in Liverpool, UK.

Now Liverpool, as you might already know, has a large Irish community and where there are large Irish communities you also find large Irish families. So it comes as no surprise that in Liverpool, a good deal of the populace claim some sort of Irish decent.

However, Liverpool is not Dublin. It is not even in the Republic of Ireland. It’s English and, yes, very cosmopolitan. So you’ll get all manner of people there, Chinese, Asian, African, Dutch, Polish, French, Spanish, Portugese, American…If the ships came from there to Liverpool, you can guarantee that there will be some form of community there.

So it bemuses me how, every year, the Irish clubs and bars of fair old Liverpool city centre suddenly seemed to fill with people all claiming some link, no matter how tenuous, to Ireland. From “Oh my dad’s Uncles second cousin twice removed was Irish” to “I once sat next to a man who was drinking Guinness”, some how people seemed to claim some Irish decent.

Why was this? Ok, apart from the way the Irish seem to know how to chuck a party and they know how to drink and have a good time I could see no reason why so many people were so keen to acknowledge this Irish thing.

Then I moved to Yorkshire…..

Now I’m not familiar with any large Irish community in Barnsley. Nor have I heard anyone with an Irish accent. Fair enough, the Barnsley accent is an infectious one (I now catch mesen talking like a chuffin miner sometimes ‘appen) but still. And yet, had my trip into town today been my first ever visit to Barnsley, I would probably have been of the wrong opinion that there was a large Irish presence in the region.

How daft I would have been.

Of course, the true nature of St Patricks day is more insidious. As with all holiday celebrations they are a good way to generate revenue and profit. Take the large holidays such as Christmas. It is marketed as a festival of consumerism. Buy this, give that. Big is best.And so on and so forth.

Likewise smaller scale festivals such as Halloween and St Valentines day are marketed by the novelty and card publishing industries as a bit of fun “Give us your money for this bag of sweets/bunch of flowers/card etc or you will be seen as a social pariah”

And so, not to be out done, possibly the largest well known Irish based global industry use their heritage to encourage those free of purse, to splash out on drunken revellry and cavorting. Don’t call it St Patricks day….call it Guinness day as that is what it is. A day marketed by Guinness for the promotion of and marketing of Irish stout.

And while you’re at it, think as you sup your pint of Irish stout, why it is you never see any other type of stout for sale in bars. Is it because few breweries make stout these days? Well, partially, but it is mainly because Guinness rule the roost with their marketing prowess and brand identity. And so, in the UK at least, where we once had Murphy’s, Beamish and Samuel Smiths we are left with one choice of stout. Irish stout. Until recently, brewed under licence just outside Warrington. Which is in Cheshire, ironically. Where there are a lot of people who once watched Father Ted.

Neighbours

Sometimes going outside of Gnomepants Manor is like running the gauntlet. A simple task, like mowing the lawn, popping the milk bottles out for the milkman, taking refuse out or a crafty smoke in the lane with no name can be fraught with obstacles.

Tomb Raider