The Office Goblin (A Poem)

goblinI am the office goblin
I live under your desk
I eat up all your paper clips
And I like to look grotesque

I pinch and hide your stapler
I break your pencil tips
I move your paperwork about
And snaffle bulldog clips

I am he that Wipes your white board
He that alters your chair
Deleting important computer files
Especially when you’re not there

I leave crusty bits in your collegue’s mug
And push the blame on you
Put finger marks on your monitor
And leave the lids off glue

I am the office goblin
Treat me good and right
Keep a look out for me
When you head off home tonight

Postman (a poem)

postieI sit and wait for you to come
To the door
I sit and wait for letters to drop
Onto the floor

Some times you’re early
But you’re never late
I suspect you’re quite burly
By how you shove the gate

Giros, postcards
And bills
Letters, death threats
and thrills

Parcels,
Junkmail
Fingers
Squashed snails

Greetings
Cheques
Bleatings
Mail order keks1

None of it
For me.
Because this is not my house
You see
For I am the burglar


1 Keks = trousers