“You… you look like your face fell in the cheese dip back in 1956”

So, last night…..let me recap. If you recall…..

I was in the back garden talking to Jamie on the phone when all of a sudden there was a load of shouting. Standing on the bench, so that I could see over the fence I noticed 3 yellow cop vans and about 30 coppers in full body gear running down the drive at the back of my house.

I’ll elaborate. Before this happened Jamie rang and I needed to check the garden plants so I was out in the garden wandering about while chatting to Jamie on the phone. Yoda had come out with me and was hiding under the large ornamental gunnera we have in the back corner. (Just so you can get a better idea of what my garden looks like you can see a picture here)

As I was pottering about I noticed the people in the house behind were pottering around their garage. Now I wasnt really paying much attention but the garage door was open and as I knew he had a punch bag in there I assumed they were using the garage as a mini gym or summat. I dunno. Anyway, while I was pottering I noticed that someone was peeping at me from behind their upstairs window which always has the blinds drawn. I just guessed that who ever it was was just curious about who was talking in the garden that backs onto them (ie Me). Now to give you an idea of time scale all this is happening in the space of 3 minutes or so. Im unaware of the excitement to follow.

By the time I’d turned around the garage door was shut; now I guessed that they had gone inside or something and I carried on talking to Jamie on the phone. I was thinking about getting Yoda in because it was starting to rain and I didnt fancy nursing a soggy moggy so started to draw the conversation to a close. While I was talking there was a noise. It sounded like some cars had bumped into each other on the estate, which does happen especially on the entrance to our Close. People sometimes come bombing down Palmerston Drive like Ayrton Senna only with less talent. Still talking on the phone I stood on the garden bench so that I could see over our fences and see what was going on. There was like thirty something police officers swarming like cockroaches down the drive behind our back fence, round the other side of the house behind and it sounded like there were a few indoors too.

WTF! I said to myself and told Jamie I had to go. My heart was going bu dum bu dum bu dum bu dum bu dum bu dum and my first thought was oooh whats going on. Second thought was Yoda….get him in, he’s a curious cat and likes to be nosy. I didnt fancy explaining to angelhands that he’d been squished by 30 peelers. So under the gunnera I had to go while fishing Yoda out I heard a copper say “Can you get in the house mate?” I presume at me. So I went back indoors and into the back bedroom for a better look.

From the upstairs I could see loads more, the house behind was teeming with the bizzies lah*!

While watching I noticed the police all standing out side the garage. Not doing anything much and I was like “OMG They havent checked the garage! And thats where the baddies are!” I got my video camera ready for the imminent arrests. Sure enough they brought a big battering ram thing and just tapped the top corner of the garage door popping it open. Loads more shouting and about 15 plods pile into a 6ft by 8ft brick box (the garage) . One man who was hiding in there immediately gets yanked out and shoved against the wall, frisked and cuffed. “Book him Danno” I said.

Then 4 coppers come out of the garage carrying something that looked heavy I couldnt see what it was because it was behind the fence but I guess it was one of the crims). Then a bit more shouting and a third man is lead away in cuffs. It was all very exciting. I was struggling to see where the woman that lives in the house whom I thought was peeping out of the upstairs window) was. Then the cops started milling around getting out of their protective gear and chucking stuff in the backs of the 3 vans that had brought them. I went and got a beer and watched. It was fascinating. I could see the DI, I could see a high ranking copper too. Possibly a Chief Inspector or something (he had a fancy hat). I could see coppers that were younger than me, coppers that have been working for years, loads of things.

I ran into the front bedroom to see what was going on that side and a large crowd had gathered. Our Close was chocka-block with cars. The residents of Palmerston Drive had either come out and were milling about in the street gossiping or were straining to see from the confines of their upstairs, the local kids were being their usual twatty selves.

The police then cleared the way and took their 3 prisoners away with them. I then spent the rest of the evening relaying what was happening to storm1jet2 via MSN and my web cam. The police even brought a big tow truck and towed the nice merc that belonged to the people behind. It was really exciting.

Anyway at midnight when I got up for a wee the police were still milling about the house and seemed very very interested in the garage where the guys were hiding. I don’t know what was going on. Probably drugs as its rare 3 guys get done for murder or summat. But what ever it was….If I find out what it was all about I’ll let you know 😀

Florence? Pah! Its been more fun here!

* bizzies = scouse for police men

Author: stegzy

Once, long ago, I wrote frequently on Livejournal. I then moved to Blogspot, where I discovered that blogging requires an audience. So I moved back to LJ. Then over to Dreamwidth, back to LJ, up the road of self hosting with Muckybadger before giving up entirely and moving over to Wordpress. It was at that moment I decided I would spread my compostual nonsense simultaneously across the blogosphere like some rancid margarine. And so here I am. I am a badger. But then I'm not really a badger. I am a human. With badger like tendencies. I am a writer, a film producer and a social commentator. I am available for Breakfast TV shows, documentaries and chats in the pub with journalists where I am more than qualified enough to talk confidently about absolute shite and bollocks.

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