Return of the Clopper

angelhands is back on dry land. However she’s in Wakefield till Tuesday Night as she has an interview in Leeds.

If she gets the job I’ll have some life changing decisions to make, like should I get a job or go to uni full time or buy the shop/pub I’ve always dreamed of. Of course there is also the chance she wont get the job. In which case we’ll have to re-assess our direction again. I long for the simple life. Quiet little village somewhere. A post office or pub. Regular customers. Maybe influencing local events via a “Local business committee” generally being a part of something rather than some faceless minion of a mega-corp or students lackey.

Of course there’s always the Uni path. Maybe I will return to uni. I’d like to. Preferably before we decide to increase our family. I feel like I’m a top a half way crag surveying the view of the past and the still obscured view of things to come. I can see how I’ve done things in the past that would have got me where I wanted to go had I known where I wanted to go. I can see the trodden paths where I’ve gone round and round in circles. Ahead I can see the spires and steeples of things yet to come but they are only my interpretations of things yet to come. Things which may yet turn out to be things entirely different from what I think they are. But they are obscured from view by the dense undergrowth of future events. Of course this has made me think about the way things have been in the past.

Curiously there’s a meme going round “10 things you would tell your 18 year old self should you have the means” and variations on that theme. I’m loathe to do memes. They’re tiresome and I fear my answers would be of no interest to anyone. After all do people really want to know about what colour socks I’m wearing or what not. But this one is interesting, so I’ll take part as an illustration.

Ten things I’d tell my 18 year old self

1. Don’t go to Southport or you will break your collar bone and have to dictate your A’levels
2. Even though in 6 years he will introduce you to your future wife, Ray Pulling is a shit and should be kicked (preferably in the face with steel toe capped boots) into touch. Mixing with him will only result in nothing of use happening and trouble.
3. Stop smoking now. If you don’t you’ll end up in trouble when your folks walk in unexpectedly in your university digs. Stopping smoking now will also stop you from having a heart attack in 2003.
4. Laura Plinston is just a cock tease and is leading you on. The firework is a dud. Don’t go back because it WILL GO OFF IN YOUR FACE. Sarah Bamber is another wasted effort as is Jane Atherton, who will cause nothing but trouble in future times.
5. Go see your nans more. They only have a few more years on this earth.
6. If its not too late, drop Chemistry and do Geography. You were doing better in geography than you ever will in chemistry. Besides a degree in Environmental Studies will serve you better than any HND in Chemistry.
7. Keep up with your singing. It will boost your confidence and make great allies. But spending the majority of your time singing in a Church choir is a folly. Join the Philharmonic choir and see the world.
8. Maybe now would be a good time to think about travelling in 2 years because it gets harder to do so the older you get.
9. David Griffiths is an arse wipe. Stop wasting your time trying to out compete him. You’ll never win and when you do no one will give a shit but you.
10. Your family think you are gay. Tell them to stop gossiping about you and to fuck off. Dave the projectionist is just a friendly old man and Andrew Sharples is 100% heterosexual. Its perfectly normal for teenage men to have adult friends. Besides, free cinema passes and bike mechanics; lessons on how to drink like a fish and music discussions will stand you in good stead for the years to come. Especially at Halfords.