The Compostual Existentialist

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Tom-Tom

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I’ve noticed an increase in drivers using Sat-Nav devices such as Tom-Tom and I find it highly amusing.

I understand that some drivers such as taxi operatives, delivery people, sales people etc would, and probably do, find SatNav technology essential in their day to day drivings. However I have noticed people using the devices on pointless journeys such as to drop the kids off at school or to go and get their paper from the corner shop. Like are they scared of getting lost or something? They made the journey a billion times before SatNav was affordable so what’s changed?

My dentist, Clive, is a prime example. Last time I saw him the following conversation took place

Clive – You know about these technological thingies don’t you Mr Gnomepants
stegzy – uhuh
Clive – what do you think about these Tom-Tom SatNav devices? Only I’ve been thinking of getting one for the BMW
stegzy – uh uh-uh-blop-uff-n-os
Clive – Pointless? How so?
stegzy – uh-plph n-op-fl-oph ng-omm fn shp frngn fiph uh
Clive – Hmmm I see what you mean I’d never thought of it like that

But he still went and got one. I know for a fact that Clive makes the same journeys. He drives to and from his surgery and his home, he goes to the supermarket once a week and he might nip into town occasionally. Now unless he was in some weird maze experiment where the streets changed and moved on some random basis then he really has no need for a SatNav.

Of course I coveted one myself when I got my PDA but I realised I really would have no need for one except maybe when angelhands and I went on one of our whirlwind mystery tours. But had they been like £50 or free with a packet of cornflakes I would probably have got one.

Alas they are more expensive than that and like I’ve already stated I would really have no need for one.

Our kid got one for his dual fuel environment killing 4 x 4 off roader (which he never goes off road in). His reason why? It looks cool and his mate had one. Fuck that! I said, ” It just looks like you can’t read a road map, you have more money than you know what to do with and it looks like you get lost going to the end of the garden path. Besides you’ve got a wankers car and everyone thinks you’re a tosser anyway.”

But thats just our kid.

So I’m going to create and market the latest in car essential. It will be a black box with 2 LEDs. One red one green. The green light will remain on but very very rarely the red light will switch on and the green light will switch off. Just for the hell of it. And they will cost £200. Oh and if you don’t have one in your car you’ll look like a complete wazzak…..I just need to get my soldering iron out but I can’t seem to find my way to my shed….Anyone have a Satnav I can borrow?

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Author: stegzy

Once, long ago, I wrote frequently on Livejournal. I then moved to Blogspot, where I discovered that blogging requires an audience. So I moved back to LJ. Then over to Dreamwidth, back to LJ, up the road of self hosting with Muckybadger before giving up entirely and moving over to Wordpress. It was at that moment I decided I would spread my compostual nonsense simultaneously across the blogosphere like some rancid margarine. And so here I am. I am a badger. But then I'm not really a badger. I am a human. With badger like tendencies. I am a writer, a film producer and a social commentator. I am available for Breakfast TV shows, documentaries and chats in the pub with journalists.

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