The Wife is away
In Liverpool today
Leaving me to play
On my own

I’ll get home from work
watch Captain Kirk
and drink tea to perk
Me up.

Then I’ll sit in my chair
At the fire I will stare
and rock back and forth
and gibber.

I’ll twiddle my thumbs
Till they swell up like plums
Or the milkman comes
for his money

At half past nine
When I stop feeling fine
and the antique pine
furnitures burnt

I’ll climb into bed
and go to sleep.

Such is my exciting life.