Stegzy Gnomepants

There are several new people on my F-List so I thought I’d do a run down on the goings on to this day.

In December 1973 wandering gypsies left a small box on the doorstep of Mr & Mrs Gnomepants of Woolton in Liverpool in the United Kingdom. Unfortunately they were both at the hospital awaiting the arrival of their third son so were unable to take delivery of the box. As a result, and it being Liverpool, somebody pinched the box and so what happend to its contents remains a mystery to this day.

Spin forward five years or so and their third son, Stegzy Gnomepants, started Primary school in the wonderfully decrepit Much Woolton RC Primary School. It was here that he met Guy who was to be a long standing friend until events in later life forced the two apart. The first few years were days of joy and happiness but as time wore on and children became more and more spiteful and venomous, the time at the school became more and more like hell.

In 1985 stegzy started in High School. It was a well known high school of the area with its own old boys network and was run by a monastic order of brothers known as the Brothers of Christian Instruction. Being an all boy’s school, high jinx were a plenty and the wide range of subject available managed to provide stegzy with an outstanding education. Stegzy stayed with the school right up until 1992 when, just before the final A’ Level exams, stegzy was to be involved in an accident with a tree and a pedal bike.

His collar bone broken and unable to write, stegzy sat his exams regardless but only managed to obtain one A level at pass level. However all was not lost. That same year, stegzy enrolled on the HND Chemistry course at Sheffield Hallam University. By December of that same year stegzy realised that the course was not to his liking and that he didn’t want to be a chemist after all. Instead the desire to be a musician was strong and so leaving university stegzy enrolled on the A Level Music (Performance) course in Liverpool’s Community College at Greenbank.

Two years passed. During this time stegzy made some new friends and also managed to obtain a bar job at small church club where he was able to daydream and listen to wise elderly people and their life experiences. It was in the second year that he was approached by a prominent solicitor of the area with a job opportunity. The kind of job opportunity you do not turn down. Working full time and part time, happily going about doing adult things and embracing the new found steady income, stegzy‘s life was to take a dramatic twist when, in June of 1995, stegzy met Teana.

Some years after surviving the events of Teana and having a few, as yet unrevealed adventures along the way, stegzy met Mrs Gnomepants and moved in with Mrs Gnomepants in 1998. More adventures were had including a heart attack and buying a new house. Then, in 2003 stegzy was married. In an effort to combat the depression brought on by the cardiac event, stegzy was encouraged to start a journal and this he did in 2004 on Livejournal.

Through Livejournal, stegzy met all manner of delightful and fascinating characters. Initiallycelticblissy, storm1jet2 and stephmog but then broadening to the wide carnival of people that are there now. As time passed stegzy met some of these people on the real side of the keyboard zoefruitcake , storm1jet2, aladdin_sane, billzy, stephmog and poggs to name but a few. All was well. The future seemed so far away.

But again, just when things seemed to be going ok, Mrs Gnomepants was made redundant in 2005 but was able to find a new job. Unfortunately the new job was in Fitzwilliam in Yorkshire. So, after many months apart the Gnomepants family upped sticks and moved far away and over the Pennines to Barnsley in South Yorkshire. stegzy then obtained employment at a sixth form college working with rockpile_99. By this time a lot had happened, eyes had been opened and realisations experienced. Time was not slowing down. Age was creeping along and yet stegzy had not realised his own dream, postponing it on several occasions in the past. It was now or never. So in April 2007 stegzy applied for a place on the Journalism and Media Production Foundation Degree course at University Centre Barnsley. His application was successful and he was pleased to announce that he would be starting the course in September 2007.

And so, poised on the edge of change, our hero, stegzy Gnomepants, embarks on a new stage of life. Full time education and the prospect of part time work for three years. Now…read on….

Author: stegzy

Once, long ago, I wrote frequently on Livejournal. I then moved to Blogspot, where I discovered that blogging requires an audience. So I moved back to LJ. Then over to Dreamwidth, back to LJ, up the road of self hosting with Muckybadger before giving up entirely and moving over to Wordpress. It was at that moment I decided I would spread my compostual nonsense simultaneously across the blogosphere like some rancid margarine. And so here I am. I am a badger. But then I'm not really a badger. I am a human. With badger like tendencies. I am a writer, a film producer and a social commentator. I am available for Breakfast TV shows, documentaries and chats in the pub with journalists where I am more than qualified enough to talk confidently about absolute shite and bollocks.

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