Morning: a Poem by Stegzy Gnomepants aged 33 11/12ths

Take the bowl
And fill it
With cornflakes, cheese
or Millet
Add the milk
Boil the kettle
A cup of tea (will put you in)
FinefettlePick up the paper
From off the floor
Sit on the sofa
Away from the door

Munch and crunch
Crackle and Pop
Toast is done
Put jam on top!

Switch on the telly
Watch breakfast news
Don’t get too comfy
You might have a snooze

Then grab your coat
And hat and bag
Run to the bus stop
Morning’s first fag

The Bus swings round the corner
All packed to the door
Standing room only
Or sit on the floor

The passengers sneeze
And cough over you
You digest your breakfast
It’s time for a poo

The wheat in the toast
Agreed not with your belly
Which gurgles and splutters
And could be quite smelly

So when you arrive
At your place of work
Run for the toilet
Don’t be a berk

Published by

stegzy

Once, long ago, I wrote frequently on Livejournal. I then moved to Blogspot, where I discovered that blogging requires an audience. So I moved back to LJ. Then over to Dreamwidth, back to LJ, up the road of self hosting with Muckybadger before giving up entirely and moving over to Wordpress. It was at that moment I decided I would spread my compostual nonsense simultaneously across the blogosphere like some rancid margarine. And so here I am. I am a badger. But then I'm not really a badger. I am a human. With badger like tendencies. I am a writer, a film producer and a social commentator. I am available for Breakfast TV shows, documentaries and chats in the pub with journalists where I am more than qualified enough to talk confidently about absolute shite and bollocks.