Last night the terrifying tight fitting PVC cat suit wearing vampiresses with comedy inflatable breasts took a break from trying to get me. Instead passing the mantle to the bin-baggers.

Bin-baggers? You ask. Bin-baggers. Terrifying collective of people who stop people on the street, at home or other unlikely place then cover the head of their victim with a black bin bag which then develops a life of it’s own and takes over the host body. You can tell a binbagger through their completely black eyes and the way they talk to you in sinister reassuring tones.

Fortunately I managed to escape their world domination plans and help fight with the resistance (using posters and compact discs) from our base which was W H Smith in Church Street, Liverpool. We were also fortunate enough to have Samuel L Jackson and Bruce Willis on our side. Whether or not the binbaggers were successful in their attempts to take over the world I do not know as I was awoken by a hungry furry pawy purry thing.

Bloody cats.