They had Comedy Inflatable Breasts

Last night I was part of a group of people who had uncovered a sinister government plot (similar to the second hand television sales plot) in which a nasty virus was to be used against the population. Through all manner of events eventually there were three of us left. We had a canister of strange green gloop which we had smuggled into a hospital for analysis. It was going well until one of the three decided to ingest some of the green gloop which rapidly started to make him feel very sick and cause him to do all sorts of weird muscle spasms.

Worried I ran into an adjacent room to try and call 999. The telephone was on the blink and the people at the other end kept saying “An Ambulance? But you’re in a hospital!” which of course caused the sinister government organisation to realise that we were in the hospital and issued a lock down. The other person (a woman) and I managed to try to escape from the building up some stairs. Unfortunately the sinister governmental types recognised her and arrested her. This meant I was on my own and I had to tell the world about the sinister goings on.

Escaping onto the streets, I ran while looking for someone to pass the information onto. I was running through streets of those old victorian workers terraced houses. It was then I bumped into Chris Herbert (who I always seem to bump into in these sorts of dreams, though in the second hand television selling dream he was in with the sinister organisation) and I immediately passed on the details to him. That didn’t stop the sinister government types though, they still tried to get me. Thats when they brought them out. The crack team of comedy inflatable breasted vampiresses in tight fitting black pvc cat suits armed, this time, with hypodermic needles filled with green gloop.

I then felt a heavy weight on my chest. Small pin like things pierced my skin and a cold but furry nose touched my face. I woke with a start, got out of bed and went down stairs to feed my saviours. Mrs Mop and Yoda.

Author: stegzy

Once, long ago, I wrote frequently on Livejournal. I then moved to Blogspot, where I discovered that blogging requires an audience. So I moved back to LJ. Then over to Dreamwidth, back to LJ, up the road of self hosting with Muckybadger before giving up entirely and moving over to Wordpress. It was at that moment I decided I would spread my compostual nonsense simultaneously across the blogosphere like some rancid margarine. And so here I am. I am a badger. But then I'm not really a badger. I am a human. With badger like tendencies. I am a writer, a film producer and a social commentator. I am available for Breakfast TV shows, documentaries and chats in the pub with journalists where I am more than qualified enough to talk confidently about absolute shite and bollocks.

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