What to write about: Cottage Pie


Cottage pie is one of those home comfort foods. It is highly adaptable and the recipe has a habit of being completely different depending on the chef.

For those in doubt cottage pie is beef or pork mince with vegetables in a rich gravy topped by mashed potatoes. If you use lamb mince it is called shepherds pie. And don’t let anyone tell you any different.

Stegzy Gnomepants’ Amazing Cottage Pie

You will need:-

500g Minced beef or pork (for a vegetarian alternative use beanfeast or quorn or shredded cardboard)

1 onion (chopped)

2 carrots (chopped sliced or diced)

Hendersons Relish (or Worcester sauce)

1 heaped Tblsp Tomato puree

1 chopped tomato

6 cloves of garlic (finely chopped)

2/3rds of a pint of beef or vegetable stock

Herbs (I used sage, oregano and rosemary)



A splash of milk

Salt and pepper


    1. Take your onion, half the garlic and carrots and fry in a large sauce pan until colour changes.


  • Add beef and fry further until brown.



  • Add tomato puree and tomato (add also a sprinkle of sugar to bring out the tomato flavour)



  • Add herbs, Hendersons relish and stock.



  • Season well and bring to the boil.



  • Simmer for 20 minutes



  • Meanwhile boil your potatoes until soft.



  • Drain potatoes and mash them adding the butter, the rest of the garlic and a splash of milk. Season to taste.



  • Pour the beef mixture into a casserole dish



  • Top with the mashed potato. (at this stage you might like to add some parmesan or grated cheese)



  • Bake in the oven 190° for 30 minutes



  • Serve with cabbage and other fart inducing vegetables



  • Eat



  • Fart like a bastard.



  • Don’t apologise.



Author: stegzy

Once, long ago, I wrote frequently on Livejournal. I then moved to Blogspot, where I discovered that blogging requires an audience. So I moved back to LJ. Then over to Dreamwidth, back to LJ, up the road of self hosting with Muckybadger before giving up entirely and moving over to Wordpress. It was at that moment I decided I would spread my compostual nonsense simultaneously across the blogosphere like some rancid margarine. And so here I am. I am a badger. But then I'm not really a badger. I am a human. With badger like tendencies. I am a writer, a film producer and a social commentator. I am available for Breakfast TV shows, documentaries and chats in the pub with journalists where I am more than qualified enough to talk confidently about absolute shite and bollocks.

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