The Compostual Existentialist

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What to write about: Cottage Pie

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Cottage pie is one of those home comfort foods. It is highly adaptable and the recipe has a habit of being completely different depending on the chef.

For those in doubt cottage pie is beef or pork mince with vegetables in a rich gravy topped by mashed potatoes. If you use lamb mince it is called shepherds pie. And don’t let anyone tell you any different.


Stegzy Gnomepants’ Amazing Cottage Pie

You will need:-

500g Minced beef or pork (for a vegetarian alternative use beanfeast or quorn or shredded cardboard)

1 onion (chopped)

2 carrots (chopped sliced or diced)

Hendersons Relish (or Worcester sauce)

1 heaped Tblsp Tomato puree

1 chopped tomato

6 cloves of garlic (finely chopped)

2/3rds of a pint of beef or vegetable stock

Herbs (I used sage, oregano and rosemary)

Potatoes

Butter

A splash of milk

Salt and pepper


Method

    1. Take your onion, half the garlic and carrots and fry in a large sauce pan until colour changes.

 

  • Add beef and fry further until brown.

 

 

  • Add tomato puree and tomato (add also a sprinkle of sugar to bring out the tomato flavour)

 

 

  • Add herbs, Hendersons relish and stock.

 

 

  • Season well and bring to the boil.

 

 

  • Simmer for 20 minutes

 

 

  • Meanwhile boil your potatoes until soft.

 

 

  • Drain potatoes and mash them adding the butter, the rest of the garlic and a splash of milk. Season to taste.

 

 

  • Pour the beef mixture into a casserole dish

 

 

  • Top with the mashed potato. (at this stage you might like to add some parmesan or grated cheese)

 

 

  • Bake in the oven 190° for 30 minutes

 

 

  • Serve with cabbage and other fart inducing vegetables

 

 

  • Eat

 

 

  • Fart like a bastard.

 

 

  • Don’t apologise.

 

 

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Pot-Roasted Loin of Pork with Apple

Pot-Roasted Loin of Pork with Apple

You will need:

4lb Boned loin of pork (I used a 1lb joint with bones)
1/2 pint Dry Cider (I used Magners)
1/4 pint of Sour Cream (I used greek yoghurt)
1 1/2tsp of salt

For the Stuffing

1 oz Butter (local)
1 small onion (local) chopped
2 oz White bread crumbs (I used granary bread)
2 apples (I used 1) chopped
2 oz raisins
Finely grated rind of 1 orange (I used chopped orange rind)
Pinch of ground cloves
salt & pepper

Method

1. Preheat the oven to 220°C (Gas mark 7). In a frying pan melt the butter and sauté the onions for 10 minutes then add the rest of the stuffing ingredients.
2. With the pork rind side down make a horizontal cut between the meat and the fat to make a pocket
3. Stuff the pocket with the stuffing. Roll joint up and tie with string. Score rind with sharp knife
4. Pour the cider and cream into a large casserole. Stir to combine then add the pork RIND SIDE DOWN. Cook in oven uncovered for 30 minutes.
5. Turn joint over so rind is facing upwards. Baste and sprinkle rind with salt. Cook for a further hour basting at 30 minutes.
6. Reduce heat to 180°C (Gas mark 4) and cook for a further 90 minutes.
7. Remove from oven and allow to rest for 20 minutes before carving.

Yummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm


>As requested by the remarkable <lj user="das_clive">

>

Pot-Roasted Loin of Pork with Apple

You will need:

4lb Boned loin of pork (I used a 1lb joint with bones)

1/2 pint Dry Cider (I used Magners)

1/4 pint of Sour Cream (I used greek yoghurt)

1 1/2tsp of salt

For the Stuffing

1 oz Butter (local)

1 small onion (local) chopped

2 oz White bread crumbs (I used granary bread)

2 apples (I used 1) chopped

2 oz raisins

Finely grated rind of 1 orange (I used chopped orange rind)

Pinch of ground cloves

salt & pepper

Method

1. Preheat the oven to 220°C (Gas mark 7). In a frying pan melt the butter and sauté the onions for 10 minutes then add the rest of the stuffing ingredients.

2. With the pork rind side down make a horizontal cut between the meat and the fat to make a pocket

3. Stuff the pocket with the stuffing. Roll joint up and tie with string. Score rind with sharp knife

4. Pour the cider and cream into a large casserole. Stir to combine then add the pork RIND SIDE DOWN. Cook in oven uncovered for 30 minutes.

5. Turn joint over so rind is facing upwards. Baste and sprinkle rind with salt. Cook for a further hour basting at 30 minutes.

6. Reduce heat to 180°C (Gas mark 4) and cook for a further 90 minutes.

7. Remove from oven and allow to rest for 20 minutes before carving.

Yummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm


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Doughnuts

I have several cook books from the 1970’s. Their garish photographs are usually enough to put any prospective cook off food for life. Was all food in the 70’s plastic coated and brightly coloured? I think Fanny Craddock’s influence did more damage to home cooking than Anthony Worral-Thompson. However I had a craving for sweet and doughy goodness. So—–

 

Ingredients
8oz Plain Flour
1tsp salt
1tblsp sugar
a knob of butter
15g of yeast
60ml tepid milk
1 egg (beaten)
Cinnamon
Thick jam
Fat for deep frying

Method

1. Rub flour salt sugar cinnamon and butter together.
2. Add yeast to milk. Stir well
3. Bind flour mix with yeasty milk and beaten egg
4. Beat into a smooth dough
5. Place dough in bowl, cover with cling film, allow to rise to double it’s size
6. Knead the dough well
7. Divide into 8 balls.
8. Either roll each ball into a sausage then make a loop to make ringed doughnuts or make an indentation with your thumb (if you have one) and fill indent with jam then pinch dough over indent to seal jam in.
9. Heat oil to approximately 180°C or so that a piece of bread turns brown within a minute.
10. Deep fry doughnuts until golden brown. I recommend doing them one at a time.
11. Roll doughnut in sugar and cinnamon.
12. Eat.
13. Feel ill after eating all 8 in one sitting
14. Get fat.
15. Rinse and repeat