What’s behind the door?

So I’m taking my car out of the garage to take the recycling having spent all day tidying.

It was a bit stiff to open but as it’s cold I thought that was probably because of the weather. As I close the door I hear a ping and the door goes all wobbly and wouldn’t shut. So I have a look and notice that the bit of metal that holds the door to the runner has broken.

“Great!” I thought. I’m going on a journey from Sunday and I don’t fancy leaving the garage door open all week. So I ring me dad. He doesn’t know what to do and can’t really help what with being 80 miles away. So I think OK I’ll call the insurance, see if it’s covered. Then I discover that the garage isn’t covered because “It is not attached to the building”. Well that’s just great.

So after speaking to a lovely girl from Norwich Union who was having a shit day too, I looked through the yellow pages to see if there were any emergency garage door repair people. No. Not this time of year.

So then I realised I was all alone. G the Human Dog was not around. I had to try and fix this myself. So I put on my overalls and looked at the door. I sucked air through my teeth and tutted. I sighed. Tutted again. Sucked more air through my teeth, shook my head then had a cup of tea. After my cup of tea I stood by the door again. Sucked air through my teeth, as is the way, tutted and then shook my head once more. I then went to the shop to see if they had the part. I was gone for an hour. Then came back and said to myself “Well, its a strange model mate, what you got there is a B29na6x and they don’t make them no more. It needs a part but the shop couldn’t order the part in until the new year like.”

I then sighed. Tutted again. Sucked more air through my teeth and said “Well I can have a go but it’ll cost you”

After more standing round looking at the door, more air sucking and tutting I used a clever system of levers (Nameably bits of wood that Mrs Gnomepants had been on at me for months to get shut of) to lever the door into a more manuverable position. Then, using a bit of elbow grease and some levering, I managed to get the fucker shut.

I then invoiced myself £50 plus VAT but I offered to give a £10 discount for cash.

I think I was happy. Still I could have done it for £20 but you know…times are hard like….

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