Edit : Humour explanation department note – Hi, Future Stegzy from 2024 here, although you are probably reading this when I am past Stegzy. This entry, originally posted on LJ in 2009 came at a point when microblogging sites such as Twitter (currently now X owned by Elon Musk) and Facebook were decimating the blogosphere and homebrewed internet content, making stars out of influencers and generally driving an axe through the throat of the loosly democratic hodgepodge of internet content creators. The trend on such sites was to cross post one’s activities to other platforms so that “followers” didnt miss out on minutie of the authors lives. This post is basically a piss take of that trend.

10:00 Having a poo
10:30 Walking down a corridor
10:50 Tying boot laces
11:01 Picking nose
11:02 Wiping it on the wall
11:09 Having a wee
12:00 Picking chicken out of teeth with the edge of a piece of plastic
12:01 Swallowing piece of chicken
13:01 Walking down a corridor
13:05 Walking back down same corridor
13:08 Walking up stairs
13:09 @Lecturer – Can you let me in a room?
13:10 @Lecturer – No but I saw their socks
13:11 @Lecturer – Yes. A pink kettle
13:12 @Lecturer – A giant rubber penis
13:13 Walking down stairs
13:15 Walked down too many stairs
13:16 Reached floor required
15:16 OMG! I’m missing two hours of my life!
13:17 No found them again down the back of the desk
17:00 @Shopkeeper – And can I have one of those please?
17:01 @Shopkeeper – Thankyou
17:02 @Shopkeeper – No
17:03 @Customer – I wouldnt either
17:04 @Customer – Yes
17:08 How did I get here?
17:09 Where am I?
18:00 @Bus driver – Brierley please
18:01 @Bus driver – No I haven’t
18:02 @Bus driver – Yeah well your mum sucks monkey balls
18:03 @Bus driver – Ow that hurts
19:00 How did I get home?
20:00 Oh fuck off
20:01 @Wife – Pass me the salt
20:02 Chewing
20:03 Swallowing
20:04 Chewing
14:00 Arrgh I’ve fallen through a hole in time
20:05 Oh no. It was just the clock on the mantle piece has stopped.

Automatically shipped by Eddie Stobard lorry.