Uninteresting One liners for today

10:00 Having a poo
10:30 Walking down a corridor
10:50 Tying boot laces
11:01 Picking nose
11:02 Wiping it on the wall
11:09 Having a wee
12:00 Picking chicken out of teeth with the edge of a piece of plastic
12:01 Swallowing piece of chicken
13:01 Walking down a corridor
13:05 Walking back down same corridor
13:08 Walking up stairs
13:09 @Lecturer – Can you let me in a room?
13:10 @Lecturer – No but I saw their socks
13:11 @Lecturer – Yes. A pink kettle
13:12 @Lecturer – A giant rubber penis
13:13 Walking down stairs
13:15 Walked down too many stairs
13:16 Reached floor required
15:16 OMG! I’m missing two hours of my life!
13:17 No found them again down the back of the desk
17:00 @Shopkeeper – And can I have one of those please?
17:01 @Shopkeeper – Thankyou
17:02 @Shopkeeper – No
17:03 @Customer – I wouldnt either
17:04 @Customer – Yes
17:08 How did I get here?
17:09 Where am I?
18:00 @Bus driver – Brierley please
18:01 @Bus driver – No I haven’t
18:02 @Bus driver – Yeah well your mum sucks monkey balls
18:03 @Bus driver – Ow that hurts
19:00 How did I get home?
20:00 Oh fuck off
20:01 @Wife – Pass me the salt
20:02 Chewing
20:03 Swallowing
20:04 Chewing
14:00 Arrgh I’ve fallen through a hole in time
20:05 Oh no. It was just the clock on the mantle piece has stopped.

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Author: stegzy

Once, long ago, I wrote frequently on Livejournal. I then moved to Blogspot, where I discovered that blogging requires an audience. So I moved back to LJ. Then over to Dreamwidth, back to LJ, up the road of self hosting with Muckybadger before giving up entirely and moving over to Wordpress. It was at that moment I decided I would spread my compostual nonsense simultaneously across the blogosphere like some rancid margarine. And so here I am. I am a badger. But then I'm not really a badger. I am a human. With badger like tendencies. I am a writer, a film producer and a social commentator. I am available for Breakfast TV shows, documentaries and chats in the pub with journalists where I am more than qualified enough to talk confidently about absolute shite and bollocks.

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