The Compostual Existentialist

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>Political Pints

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The old soapbox Major. Margaret Thatcher had her gardening. John Major had his soap box. Tony Blair and Gordon Brown; cups of tea with grass root voters. What would swing me? Well a pint with me in my local would probably help…..

I’ve blogged before on how little contact my local political representatives have made to the people that matter (See these various Livejournal entries), those people being…well…me and others like me who are called upon to do their duty and put a cross in a box every few years. Indeed, the same really could apply to prospective MPs.

In all my years I’ve never been canvassed. Either in person or by any other personal means. Now I know some will say “Oh but Stegzy you daft pillock, there are far too many people for all the MPs to go and visit them all and that is why they have special talks and things in community centres”. Others might say “Oh well you should get leaflets and that through your door surely that should be enough”. Well no…it isn’t.

I'll have 10 pints and some nuts cos I'm 'ard me When I moved to Yorkshire the country was undergoing an election. I was new to Barnsley and had no idea who was who or what the the people who were asking for my vote stood for.

So, I took it upon myself to look up the local prospective candidates in the local press and on the web and I contacted all the candidates via email inviting them to come to my house and tell me why I should vote for them. (see this entry)

Surprisingly.

Nobody came.

Not even a “Thanks” or a “Hey yeah while I’m dead busy like I can’t really drop everything just for one vote”.

Stay seated it's my round Nothing

I thought to myself that come the general election I would extend that offer to the people hoping to be elected to parliament for the Barnsley East ward.

He'd rather have a cup of tea than a pint with meThen Gordon goes and visits some people at their house for a cup of tea.

Well. Fair enough, with having to finish my degree and being in two places most of the time I didn’t get round to making that post.

My intention, as I alluded to, was to invite political prospectives to come and tell me why they deserved my vote and not the other guy rather than have them shove a piece of paper through my door with a few general statements about what current issue they deem to have importance.

Now I can hardly expect Gordon, Nick and that other fella to come round to my gaff together and take me for a pint, but the idea would be nice. I can just imagine it, me and political big wigs having a pint in my local or, for that matter, in my lounge…like the lads…not that the “lads” ever come round to my gaff, but you get my idea.

JeffEnnis No, perhaps expecting the big fish to visit the tadpoles is a bit far fetched. But my local MP…well that’s a different matter. They’re not there yet. My current MP is Jeff Ennis, who, you might be amused to know, used to live in G the Human Dog’s house next door to mine. Anyway, I understand that Jeff is standing down at this election. I never got to meet good old Jeffy but I can imagine him sipping an ale with Mrs Edson (the lady that lived in my house before me) or nipping down to the Three Horseshoes for a little snifter of sherry with the lads.

So as there is a vacancy coming up and I’m still unaware of anyone wanting to try and fill Ennis’ shoes I thought I’d extend the offer once more.

Three Horseshoes It is highly unlikely that anyone from Barnsley let alone anyone from the Barnsley East and Mexborough ward will be reading this but hopefully some enterprising PR person will pick up on it and see it as a boon for selfpromotion. But…here goes…if you are a prospective candidate or are hoping to run for election as the MP for Barnsley East and Mexborough….get in touch. Please. Come and meet me and we’ll have a one to one. I will ask you about the issues that matter to me and which way you would vote on my behalf, should an issue arise in Parliament.

Of course nobody chuffing will come. Nobody ever does. And then I’ll sit there, vote card in hand, clueless about who to vote for.

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Author: stegzy

Once, long ago, I wrote frequently on Livejournal. I then moved to Blogspot, where I discovered that blogging requires an audience. So I moved back to LJ. Then over to Dreamwidth, back to LJ, up the road of self hosting with Muckybadger before giving up entirely and moving over to Wordpress. It was at that moment I decided I would spread my compostual nonsense simultaneously across the blogosphere like some rancid margarine. And so here I am. I am a badger. But then I'm not really a badger. I am a human. With badger like tendencies. I am a writer, a film producer and a social commentator. I am available for Breakfast TV shows, documentaries and chats in the pub with journalists.

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