How to be successful and wealthy

1. Become completely inept at operating or using computers
2. Lose all social skills
3. Be rude and vacuous
4. Think only of yourself
5. Remember everyone else only exists when you can see/hear them
6. Spending £5 on a carrot is preferable to spending 30p on a carrot, even if there are no discernible differences
7. Remember that you own the road, so driving like a twat will make you more successful in life.