A place to rest your head

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This week I had the misfortune to stay in the Newcastle Central Travelodge.

Now, if I’d picked up some loose woman and had decided to head back to a room for a couple of quick shags, then it wouldn’t have bothered me that much. The raging urges of lust would no doubt have helped me turn a blind eye to the numerous faults in the ramshackle and poorly designed late 80’s building.

I might not have noticed the carpet, the smell or the staff.

So when Travelodge wrote to me to say “Tell us how we did!”

I told them how it was:-

Newcastle Central needs completely redecorating. Strong smells of curry and must in rooms and corridors. Carpet that has seen better days, mattress that had obviously been used as some sort of trampoline for energetic shaggers. Staff that had they smiled they might have looked like they were actually enjoying their work and a pillows that had the bulk of a rolled up handkerchief. I know it’s supposed to be BUDGET, but I’d have had a cleaner and probably more comfortable stay in the car park. Oh yeah, the car park….that’s a different story entirely. Nope…don’t get me started on that….noooooo…..Premier Inn for me in future I’m afraid.

And you were doing SOOOO well too.

What’s happened to you Travelodge? You used to be so much better.

Did you get taken over by Ryanair?

Much love

Gnomepants.

Oh and I’ve blogged this too…to tell the world….just so you know….google is your friend.

Author: stegzy

Once, long ago, I wrote frequently on Livejournal. I then moved to Blogspot, where I discovered that blogging requires an audience. So I moved back to LJ. Then over to Dreamwidth, back to LJ, up the road of self hosting with Muckybadger before giving up entirely and moving over to Wordpress. It was at that moment I decided I would spread my compostual nonsense simultaneously across the blogosphere like some rancid margarine. And so here I am. I am a badger. But then I'm not really a badger. I am a human. With badger like tendencies. I am a writer, a film producer and a social commentator. I am available for Breakfast TV shows, documentaries and chats in the pub with journalists where I am more than qualified enough to talk confidently about absolute shite and bollocks.

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