It’s getting to that time again. That time where I extend my hand towards the local political persons hoping for my vote and offer them a gauntlet. That gauntlet being: Meet me in my local pub and tell me why I should vote for you.
Nothing more. Nothing less. A chat and a pint or two. Low key. No press. No song or dance. Just you, me, your minders if appropriate and whoever else is in the pub at the time. We chat politics. I ask you questions. You answer them. Honestly. Without the fear of your employers tutting at you.
So far I have made this offer for the past ten years at local, general and police and crime commissioner elections. So far nobody has accepted my challenge. It’s almost as if no politician wants to ask for my vote.
Where did this start? Well it started some years ago. The area I lived in fielded two candidates in the local election. A far-right fascist and a right leaning-not-so fascist. What could I do? Well all I could do. Spoil my ballot paper. Why? Because I had no idea what any of the people asking for my vote wanted or stood for. It may have been that the far-right fascist wanted to bring about world peace through the introduction of jam and scone evenings in the local community centre. Or it might have been that the right leaning-not-so-fascist wanted to bring about total war and continental domination through the use of tanks and armies.
What ever the case, I had no idea. So having no idea meant that I couldnt vote.
And that is what happens every election. Some people ask for my vote and yet they fail to explain why it is I should vote for them. Some shove laughable leaflets through my door, others use psychic powers and Jedi mind tricks to will me into voting for them. Of course a dumb leaflet won’t answer my questions. It will answer the questions you want me to ask. But I don’t want to ask most of the questions you want to tell me the answer to.
I want to ask my own questions like how will you vote if we were being pressurised into going to war? Are you brave enough to vote according to your own beliefs rather than the party line if the party line was abhorrent? What are your views on things that matter to me?
This year I’m still in sunny Daventry, Northamptonshire and, like during last year’s local elections, I am still awaiting leaflets from candidates. Poking about on the internet is fun though but always a bit one sided. However, my researches have found me the following details about the contenders for the 2015 General Election:
Chris Heaton-Harris – Conservative (who, incidentally, has blocked me on Twitter for unknown reasons)
Over the next month I will be looking at each candidate individually on these pages and hoping that they will either arrange to meet me at my local pub in Daventry to chat about why I should vote for them or at least call accidently to my door. As yet I have never been doorstep canvassed nor have I received any literature. As usual it’s almost as if the candidates are so confident that they’ll get into power, they have no need for my piddling little vote. But ho! How funny it will be when it is my vote that swings the election.
So the challenge again for those hard of reading. The candidate or candidates arrange to meet me, in my local pub for a chat and a drink. That’s all. Nothing more than an hour. In a nice pub, near me. We have a chat about your policies and beliefs and a pint. Hell, if you don’t drink alcohol I’d do it over a cup of tea. Whatever you prefer. They do food too, you could have your dinner while we chatted. Becky does a nice fish and chips. No local media unless you want to arrange it, no national media unless you think you deserve it. Just me, you, a drink and a political chat. I’m nice. Really I am.