I called my mum and dad this evening. My mum seems to think I’m destined to have a stroke any time soon. It seems this is her new thing. A while back any ache or pain and it was naturally the start of Cancer or down to the fact that you may have smoked. Now she applies the same to strokes it seems.

For example:

stegzy – Yes I had this weird twinge in my jaw that lasted three days.
Mum – It’s probably the start of a stroke

stegzy – I have this peculiar runny nose
Mum – Stroke

stegzy – I’ve been staying up dead late recently and I’m dead tired all day
Mum – Oh might be a stroke.


stegzy – I think this Tshirt has shrunk in the wash
Wife – I don’t. I think its because you have grown a belly
stegzyRemembering the previous weeks of takeaways Hmmm you may have a point.

I have become rotund. Well, maybe that’s an exaggeration. I’ve put on a bit of weight over the past month. I put this down to my propensity for salt and pepper spare ribs and to the fact I’m frequently not arsed to cook lately. I love cooking but lately I just can’t be arsed. Recent trips to the shops, mostly the supermarket (yeah yeah I know) as I am being too lazy to trawl the market, have been uninspiring. This week, with finances looking like a steaming pile of plop, my meals have mostly consisted of what lucybutler and aladdin_saneUncle Monty might call “Caravan Food”. Last night I had left over salad (salad made with the brown slightly on the turn salad vegetables in the fridge), the night before I had cold roasted sausage and frozen left over home made curry. These culinary morsels have been complimented with apples and the occasional morish orange. So my diet is a bit cack. I’m wondering if the belly is actually the first sign of malnutrition. Probably not though.

I’ve been thinking about the weekend and what activity I might get involved in. Money is tight (I really could do with a job) so voyages to the bottom of the county are not an option. Trips to the local surroundings are. Saturday is RMerry’s birthday. She is having a party at Elsecar heritage centre. Yes that’s right. Elsecar heritage centre. Which has a minor selection of heritage activities to participate in. Unless you count a giant kiddies fun factory type thing as heritage. So I might take the opportunity to sneak off and do a bit of geocaching.

Bath – A wife free post

So I’m feeling a bit poo today. My head hurts in a weird way (like round the sides in front of my ears, not like on the forehead), I’ve been weeweeing like one of them tacky little white cherub water fountains you see in garden centres and I feel run down and poo. Not very pleasant.

Continue reading “Bath – A wife free post”


I realised something today.

One of the main reasons why I have been “off track” of late is because I took my eyes off the prize. The prize being a fucking good degree and a spectacular “more than I could ever have dreamed of” career. Most of this has been down to silly self wallowing and day to day drudgery.

With my eyes back on the prize, hopefully not too late, I now have new found gusto. However I find that I do still lack the confidence to actually put this gusto into use. Confidence is not something they sell down the shops really.

However, recently I saw an advertisement for sanitary towels saying they make you feel confident.

So I’m wearing one now.

I don’t think they work.

Stabby stabby stab stab

stegzy – Hello can I see a doctor please?
Receptionist – I’ve no appointments. Is it important?
stegzy – Well my blood pressure is higher than normal and I have cardiac disease.
Receptionist – Well you could sit round and wait but there is no guarantee you’ll get to see a doctor.
stegzy – Can I make an appointment for tomorrow then?
Receptionist – Yes just call in anytime after 8am.
stegzy – I will do.
Receptionist – Are you sure you don’t want to wait?
stegzy – Well obviously it isnt life threatening…but then what do I know eh? I’ll come back tomorrow if it gets worse
Receptionist – Yes, ok
stegzy – Besides if it gets any worse I’ll just go to A&E eh?

Yeah so my blood pressure is high. I can tell because I’ve got this like ringing in my ears like I’ve been in a noisy nightclub and come out to somewhere quiet. That and I’m getting aches. NOT PAINS. Aches in my front and back. This is typically not a good sign.

It will mean the Doctor will delight in telling me about his latest holiday and intricately morph it into a eulogy about how I should not drink beer (I have a small glass of low alcohol beer a night, I don’t neck it and if I have a glass of wine with my meal then I go without the beer), how I should stop eating food and how I should moderate other things I already consider myself to do with moderation.

I suspect a life of lettuce and grain is around the corner for me.


My appointment for the neurology tests finally came through on Saturday. Not bad considering I put in for them in June of last year. Granted an appointment came through for the Neurological Centre in Liverpool in August but it was a week too late and I’d moved to Yorkshire. When I went to see Dr Selim he seemed to dismiss my request to be referred to a neurologist on request of my cardiologist and I’d almost got to a point where I was going to write to him and say “Oi you…do as I ask!” when the appointment came through.

I’ve been having really bad pins and needles in my arms when I wake in the morning. This has been going on for nearly 2 years now and it is seemingly getting worse. The cardiologist said it wasn’t circulatory or owt and that it was more than likely neurological. Hence the appointment.

So I’m going to have needles put in my muscles and they’ll see if my motor neurones work as they should. I think they will. I feel fine like I said. Just hate having dead, non-functioning arms every morning. Have you tried turning off your alarm clock when your hands wont function? It’s well weird.

That’s on the 15th.

Mum & Dad are coming on the 8th. I’m quite excited. They gave us strict instructions not to take time off work so we didn’t. We plan to take them to the New Wheatsheaf on Friday and we also have some little jobs to keep them occupied most of their stay (The doors need new locks, the tank in the loft needs it’s ball cock float valve adjusting (Float valve?! What was wrong with ball cock?!), the kitchen could do with a new slidey door and we could do with the washing machine plumbing in please ta thanks). We’re going to gauge what weekend they next intend to go away so that the wife and I can sneak off to Liverpool and have a few nights out without having to worry about being back too late. I really need to catch up with some people like Nick & Sarah, Jim & Becky and some people from CSD.

Also planned is two days off during half term. The wife and I got hardly any gardening done at the weekend, nor is the weekend long enough for us to do what we need to do AND find a new bathroom suite, so we intend to take 2 days off during the week to get things sorted in both the house and the garden.

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