The Compostual Existentialist

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UK General Elections 2015: Daventry – UKIP Candidate

Regular readers will remember that every election, general or otherwise, I  try to get the local candidates to meet me in the pub so that they can tell me why I should vote for them. Regular readers will also recall that during each election I look at the leaflets that come through the door and explain how ineffective they are as a way to wrestle my vote from me.

This week, local Kipper, Michael P. Gerard (the P is important you know) pushed his big purple one through my flap.

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Daventry Local Elections Results– – 2014

Here are the results for the Daventry Local Elections Weedon Ward.

Weedon (1 seat)

 Name of candidate   Description (if any)   Votes  Status  

COLLINS

Emma Clare

The Labour Party      

      265          

          

GALE

John Clifford

UK Independence Party (UKIP)

559

 

PRICE

Tom

Trade Unionist and Socialist Coalition

32

 

SALAMAN

Christopher Robin

Liberal Democrat

144

 
SMITH
David
The Conservative Party

1093

Elected

Electors: 5048

Ballot papers: 2103

Turnout: 41.66%

Rejected papers: 9

 

I found this very interesting. 1093 people out of 2103 voted for David “No Chairs” Smith. I guess there’s a lot of people wanting to see him standing up and fighting navvies in fields. Good for you Mr Smith. I expect to be at your first fight please. I’ll bring my chair. You can stand.

 

I’m really looking forward to that. I don’t particularly go in for boxing but I’m all for making sure people stick to their promises. David Smith promised me fighting in the fields with navvies, I’m going to make sure that he sticks to his promises. He also promised he would stand up throughout his campaign. If I see him sitting, I’ll make sure the world knows.

 

What the results also show is that out of 5048 people 2945 either forgot to vote or stayed at home. That is terrible.

 

However it does offer some hope.  I hope Emma “I don’t really want to win” Collins pays attention here. Just by being proactive and going out, meeting the electorate, telling them how you can help them, you can easily get into local government. 2945 people obviously needed persuasion.

 

So here is my plan for the next local election.

 

– Enter the election

– Make sure I visit every house in the ward and speak to every voter

– I’ll listen to all the concerns and ensure that my promises aren’t empty.

– For the properties where people are not available to talk, I’ll ensure there is informative literature to leave including contact details and links to social media accounts and web pages.

– Sit back

– Watch the votes come in.

– Win

– Be accountable

 

The general election might be a bit trickier to win but I’ll start small, work my way up and generate respect from the electorate.

 

In the meantime, I’m going to get my wellies out of the garage in preparation for watching Mr Smith fight navvies.

 

He’s going to get a pasting…..


Daventry Local Elections 2014

Well, the day is at hand. Tomorrow is election day and I am still to receive any form of communication (other than the tweets from Emma Collins) from any of the candidates running tomorrow.

 

I was unable to write profiles on the Liberal Democrat candidate or the Trade Unionist. Purely because I couldn’t find anything out about them. They too, like the Labour candidate, appear to not want to be elected and are happy to fritter away their deposit on a whim.

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I suppose it’s like betting on horses or entering the National Lottery. Only with a higher stake.

 

It’s a sorry state of affairs when the candidates in the local area just aren’t bothered about promoting their cause. It’s a sorry state of affairs when potentially good candidates give up before they’ve even started the race.

 

Tomorrow I will vote in two elections. The local and the European. I know nothing about any of the candidates other than bold brags about how they are going to stand up. Well I’ve got news. I’m going to stand up.

 

None of you candidates are worth the lives of the thousands of soldiers who died in the Great War 100 years ago. Not one of you. You should be ashamed and you are an affront to democracy. No wonder that the youth are disconnected from politics. No wonder fascist groups are on the rise in the UK and EU. It is even no wonder great minds and thinkers are leaving this country for other more enlightened parts of the world. When people like you are all the people have to select as their voice once every few years. Prove me wrong. Come canvassing in Norton tomorrow. I’m in all day. Come and tell me why I should vote for you. Contact me via this blog, twitter or where ever. I’ll meet you. Convince me you are doing this for your own beliefs and not some misguided attempt at getting your name on a park bench when you die.

 

And so, to you dear reader, all I can urge you to do tomorrow is vote. Vote for the candidate you feel is worthy of the job of representing you in the European parliament. Vote for the candidate who you feel will do the best for your local area. Remember their promises and, if they default on them, use your greatest weapon against them to bring shame upon them. Your democratic vote and your freedom of speech.

 

While, of course, you still have them.


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STOP PRESS–DAVENTRY LOCAL ELECTIONS 2014

Following on from yesterday’s twitter conversation with the Labour Candidate for Weedon Ward, Daventry, Northamptonshire in the Daventry Local Elections 2014. I received this tweet:

 

 

tweet3

 

 

What does that mean? “We are not leafleting Weedon ward”? Well how are you going to get the electorate to know who you are and what you are going to stand for? How can the electorate be informed?

 

Imagine. “Yes, well we’re not going to tell people what our key products are we’re just going to open and hope for the best”

 

Only someone with totally misguided confidence would run in a local election and not tell the voters who they are and what they stand for. Good for you Mrs! Good for you! You’d have been better off spending the electoral deposit on something like a trip to Cromer. Or some cakes.

 

“Dav Labour Doing good work” – How? Where? What sort of work??

 

“Standing up for local services…” – On the bus because they need a seat? In a field? Doing the hokey cokey? – “…and a living wage for DDC staff”

 

Well as a member of the public who isn’t a member of Daventry District Council, what good is that for me?

 

Honestly! What on earth?! It’s as if she doesn’t want to win.

 

Ah well…The offer still stands…Come and tell me why I should vote for you…


Daventry Local Elections 2014–Emma Collins

Every election – local, European or General – I offer the local candidates the opportunity to come and tell me why I should vote for them.

This year I am providing insights into the candidates running in the Weedon ward in Daventry.

And, so it seems, is the BBC.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-northamptonshire-27471122

collins

Emma Tiny Picture Collins

Today, Emma Collins – Labour.

Now, considering that Daventry is a crucial Conservative hot spot you would expect a lot of campaigning by the opposition parties. Not so here in sleepy Norton. Sure, European election leaflets have fluttered unbidden onto my door mat but local candidates seem to be few and far between.  Considering the election is only a few days away, the opposition candidates had better get a move on if they want possible swing voters to make their minds up.

I have no leaflet for Ms Collins. I knew nothing about her, her policies, what issues she feels strongly about or whether like Mr Smith she likes to have a poo in a field before standing up and fighting builders. With her fists.

So, using my l33t skills and well honed research methods, I had a poke about on the internet to see what I could find out about Ms Collins. It’s scary what you can find about people online, or so they say. Heh, that’s why, I suppose, I don’t use my real name online.

And never have.

Anyway, I know where she lives but where’s the fun in that. I mean this kind of information is given by the election’s returning officer and in the election notices. Turning up unbidden on her doorstep is a bit creepy so I wouldn’t do that. Although I suppose I could go canvassing. You know like candidates do only as a voter…Or will that get me arrested…Maybe not eh?

So the first port of call was Google. Using a bit of Googlefoo, I was able to find Ms Collins’ twitter account. So let’s do this in real time and send her a tweet…

 

tweet1

I’ll post her response if it comes….

Her feed seems to be akin to Mr Chris “I’ll block you if you question my insistence that Margaret Thatcher was the best thing that happened to the UK” Heaton-Harris. Jokes, asides and retweets of the odd bit of opposition political linkage. Nothing that says “Hey, intarwebz, I am young and clued up about social media and know how to market myself as a potential politician! Vote for me!”

Nothing that says “I’ll have a fight with navvies in a field if they so much as look at it through the windscreen of a JCB”

In fact there’s nothing. Nothing political…Couple of possible leads but out of decency I won’t mention those. But I did find three Emma Collins on Facebook in the Northamptonshire area. None of which, look like the tiny picture above, they all look like they’re still in school.

Ok, so let’s check the old Twitter feed….

Oooh! Look! She’s replied!

 

tweet2

 

So it’s off to the local press.

Good old Gusher. They are now part of Johnston Press so their website isn’t very good. Their weekly newspaper is often a bit low on gripping local news and is more akin to the old “Man who Once Passed through Daventry Met Elvis” kind of headline. But none-the-less, we should all use our local press or we will lose them. And then where would we be for news about Angry People, new toasters in Estate agents or cats stuck up trees.

Anyway, a quick search on the site brings me:

Nothing.

Nada.

Not a peep.

A few articles containing the words “EMMA” and “COLLINS” but nothing about our candidate. Meh.

Maybe my skills aren’t as l33t as I think. Maybe Emma Collins is still waiting for her leaflets to come back from Vistaprint. Maybe she’s going to pull out all the stops on Thursday by filling the sky with giant letters explaining what her policies are. Maybe now she’s heard of me, she’ll take me up on my offer of joining me in the White Horse in Norton so she can tell me why I should vote for her.

 

Or maybe not.

 

I’ll let you know if she gets back to me before Thursday…

Wouldnt buy a used car from this guy.


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Daventry Local Elections 2014–John Gale

daventry-mb21-01One of the differences with local elections that I have noticed here in Daventry is that the local candidates like to shove leaflets through the door.

In Brierley, I think we only had one or two leaflets through the door with the majority of local political news coming from the Barnsley Chronicle.

Here in Daventry, the local press The Daventry Express or “The Gusher”, is as political as The Beano. I understand that such is the fate of local newspapers.

I’ve also noticed that local candidates here don’t seem to use the internet effectively. So as a favour, I will examine each of the candidates that shove leaflets through my door. Right here….On the internets…..for ALL to see.

 

Today is John Clifford Gale

Full of wind

Full of wind

 

John Clifford Gale is, according to his leaflet, my UKIP candidate for Daventry District Council Weedon Ward. He has lived in Northamptonshire for 35 years and has worked on the parish council in Brington

On the front of his leaflet:-

We Don’t Just Need a Breath of Fresh Air. We Need A Gale

Really? We need strong winds in the area? Damage to trees, chimneys and rooftops? I don’t think so

Not only is this country governed by Brussels – your local councils are governed by their political parties.

Curious. There I was thinking my taxes went to fund booze orgies for the privileged in London. So what’s with all the goings on in London then? If the country is being governed by Brussels why am I paying for Cameron’s cronies?

Then you say that my local councils are governed by their political parties…

Ok, let me look at the list of candidates again. Yep, UKIP, Tory, Labour, Libdem…nope….I can’t see any parties from Brussels there. Christian Democrats? Nope can’t see them. Social Democrats? Nope. Oooh ooh LIBERAL DEMOCRATS! I can see them. But they’re only a weak ineffective wedge in government and hardly swamping us with ineffectual laws and policies.

On the reverse of the leaflet:-

John Gale believes that:

The new housing development planned for New Croft Weedon should be questioned

Really? The residents and the buildings? The planners? Or the people on the council who allowed it? Well, it’s UKIP so I suspect he means the residents. Drag them in for questioning! Why do you not conform? Why?! Why?!

We deserve a review of our local bus services

Why? There are more buses here in the Daventry district than anywhere else I’ve lived. Heck, there’s even a bus that goes past my house once a week. Unless you mean that the only thing we deserve is a review of local bus services. You know, so you can carry on with your sinister shenanigans in the council chambers unbridled.

Let’s see more Police around our district

More police? Oh yes of course, because as a member of a local council you have control over police budgets and policing levels. No doubt the need for more police will be so that Mr Gale and his jack booted friends can make sure the electorate are conforming and doing as they are told.

Dog fouling is out of control

John Clifford Gale is Full of shite

Shit shit everywhere

Out of control! That must mean that there are heaps and heaps of dog shit filling the streets. Poor little urchins wander through the lanes and byways of the region, knee deep in festering poop crying and begging for a small morsel of food.  Oh the horror. The smell. The humanity.

The only shite I’ve seen around Norton is this leaflet Mr John Clifford Gale has pushed through my door. That’s out of control.

Wind farms will ruin our stunning local landscape

 

Oh the railways/canals will spoil the countryside and go through our lands”. That’s what your lot said about the railways Mr Gale. We dun’t liek change round here

millsnpylons

Which is nicer?

Windfarms will bring lots of lovely cheap energy and remove the need of marching pylons in the area. Moreso than a high speed white elephant stretching from London to Birmingham sucking all the regional talent away from the areas that need them most.

There should be more Local Surgery Facilities

 

Really? Is this so your jackbooted friends can perform labotomies on those that don’t conform? Or do you mean Surgeries run by the local politician? Or perhaps you mean more facilities in the local surgeries? You know like slides, snack bars, bingo for the over 60s…that kind of thing?

Pot Holes: Enough is enough

I had a pot hole once. Curiously it was filled the other week.

I’m sorry Mr John Clifford Gale, UKIP candidate in Weedon ward, Daventry. Your beliefs as advertised on your leaflet do not appeal to me. Tell me about what you’re going to do about the shit broadband speed in the area. Tell me about what you are going to do about the speeding idiots that pass my house every day? Tell me what you’re going to do to encourage employment, education and facilities in the Daventry area. Dog shit, windfarms and coffee shops at the doctors aren’t going to cut the mustard.

Come on. John Clifford Gale, UKIP Candidate for Weedon, Daventry. Take me up on my challenge and tell me face to face why I should vote for you.


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Local Elections 2014

daventry-mb21-01

Daventry, Northamptonshire

It’s the local elections in Daventry in May this year. As readers of my last post will recall I mentioned that I do something during election time. As long term readers will recall, every election time I offer the opportunity for all candidates to present their case as to why I should vote for them to me personally, in my local pub over a pint or on my couch over a cup of tea.

 

Historically, I have offered this opportunity since the dark days of Livejournal when I lived in Liverpool and only had two candidates to choose from in my local area. Since then I have offered it both in Barnsley and Leamington Spa where no candidates took me up on my offer.

 

I was almost not going to bother this year but something happened last year when I moved to Daventry that made me think I’d give it another go.

 

Daventry is an odd place. It’s older than the hills and yet as modern as Milton Keynes or Warrington. It was as if Daventry was used as a practice during the design of new towns. Thoughtfully zoned areas linked by expressways and peppered with green space. It’s lovely. Internet is a bit pants mind but I couldn’t think of anywhere nicer to live. Except maybe Monaco. Or maybe Bonaire.

 

The people are very friendly in a way that is akin to one of the more northern areas than one would expect from a small provincial town teetering on the borders of the great North South divide. Yes, that’s right, people actually talk to each other. Something unthinkable in London.

 

doortodoor

Knock knock

Last year when I moved to Daventry I had a knock on the door from a canvassing local politician. I was so shocked. Unfortunately I had only just moved into the area and hadn’t had time to register to vote in time for the election.  So I would have been wasting his time.

Since then I have tried to become more involved with local politics when my work allows. I’ve done this by annoying the local MP Chris Heaton Harris by asking him, via Twitter, to think about his heroine, Margaret Thatcher’s, impact on miners which resulted in him blocking me and having my tweet removed from my feed.

 

COLLINS, Emma Clare  — Labour Party – misguided neo-socialist

GALE,  John Clifford — UKIP — Fascist racist banker party

PRICE, Tom — Trade Unionist and Socialist Coalition – Self explanatory

SALAMAN Christopher Robin — Liberal Democrat — Wishy washy  party

SMITH David — The Conservative Party –—Look after the Bankers Party

 

None of which seem to inspire. None of which actually say anything about themselves on the internet. None of which have knocked on my door and asked how they can represent my interests on the council.

 

The last time I had this level of choice was when I lived in Liverpool and had the option of BNP (Racist wankers) or Labour.  Of course Labour won that particular election but only by 4 votes or so. It’s like having to choose between horrible death by red hot nails being driven into your eyes and dying from an eye infection of red hot nails .

 

IMG_2351

White Horse in Norton

Every election I tell myself, the next time, I’m going to run. As an independent. Make a really good marketing campaign and actually put myself out there.

 

Its simple. Engage with your voters, convince them you’re not as bad as the others, make and keep promises and don’t be one of those tossers who tweet shit jokes and referee bollocks on Twitter all day. (Heaton-Harris, yes I mean you!). Actually engage with the electorate. Be accessible and accountable.

 

And so once more I open my offer to Mssrs Collins, Gale, Price, Salaman and Smith…get in touch. Speak to me. Let’s chat. Tell me what it is that makes you so deserving of my vote. We can do it over a pint in the White Horse in Norton or you can come and have a cup of tea with me, the cats and the missis. You can bring the press along too. Make a big deal of it. I’m sure the Daventry Express or Gusher as it is known in these parts would love the scoop. Barnsley Chronicle did (or at least they kept my letter to them on file for shits and giggles).