Learn to Speak Barnsleyese: Lesson 1

Are you alright? – Yo raaate?
At the junction turn right – At junkshun turn raaaate
The answer I gave was right – A wus fuckin raaaate
European Court of Human Rights – Europe kert of uman raaaates
The priest gave Colin the last rites – thu parson giv wor Colun the las Raaates

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Once, long ago, I wrote frequently on Livejournal. I then moved to Blogspot, where I discovered that blogging requires an audience. So I moved back to LJ. Then over to Dreamwidth, back to LJ, up the road of self hosting with Muckybadger before giving up entirely and moving over to Wordpress. It was at that moment I decided I would spread my compostual nonsense simultaneously across the blogosphere like some rancid margarine. And so here I am. I am a badger. But then I'm not really a badger. I am a human. With badger like tendencies. I am a writer, a film producer and a social commentator. I am available for Breakfast TV shows, documentaries and chats in the pub with journalists where I am more than qualified enough to talk confidently about absolute shite and bollocks.