Spent most of yesterday in bed. NHS direct says “If diahorrea persists for 48 hours consult your GP”. So I did.

Doctor Selim said “You mustn’ts stops the shits from comings out. You should let it runs free..haha… Dihorreas is the bodies way of cleansings itself of all the poisons and toxins, Mr Gnomepants. I will give you tablets which will make it better for you but if it is still no better by Friday you come see me again and I takes some bloods no?”

He gave me some strong pain killers. Wtf!? Still he’s Egyptian and he says he has a medical degree. I didn’t question him.

By 3pm I was feeling less spacey and a little bit perkier than I was, possibly down to Dr Selim’s advice and possibly down to me drinking nothing but water and the occasional hot ginger drink for the past 5 days, so I got up. I needed a screw driver to take the battery cover off a clock we have so I went on the hunt for my screwdriver set. It was then I realised that my toolkit and my power tools had been pinched during the break in last week. So I called the coppers and added them to my crime reference. Also added to that, a bill of £94 for a replacement window for the Vectra fuelled the wife and I to finally decide to put an insurance claim in.

I am reluctant to claim on insurance for things. I resent paying money for protection only to have to pay more if something does happen. But the total cost of last Thursday morning’s break in has reached the sum of £900 (all them cheap things add up you know) so I’ll be buggered if I’m not getting that back in some form or other.

I’ve not claimed on the car insurance because that would be prohibitive, instead we’ve claimed on the house insurance. I’m going to get one of them security etching pens too and security mark all my stuff. I’ve not been a fan of that because if a security marked item needs to be sold at a later date the security mark can devalue the item. We’ve also been offered a CCTV system and we’ve decided that our newly fitted house alarm is good but bollocks and we need a new one.

The possible visit from Nick at the weekend will be a nice relief from recent events.