The Compostual Existentialist

Wordpress flavour with added crunchy bits

Gordon Burns

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I never learn really. I think I’m a good judge of character then “bam!” someone does something out of their assumed character which surprises me. Sometimes it’s nothing major and often it doesn’t really bother me but nestles in the back of my mind like a bad memory that rots its way into other memories.

I like to share my cultural experience. You may have noticed this if you have known me for sometime. Often I can be quite forceful and insistent with it; for example engineering situations where I can play examples of what ever bit of Scandinavian Rock I’ve discovered or deliberately twisting the conversation round to a particular film which I feel is relevant. I know my music tastes are not the same as everybody elses and I’m more than aware that not everybody likes my type of movie. Indeed other times I’m not as forceful and I’ll detect some mutual appreciation and, if I know and trust the person well, I will part with a relevant book, film or album which I feel would illustrate the conversation or enlighten the beneficiary.

I suppose in a pompus way I’m saying I’m not adverse to lending people my stuff.

However, often there comes a time where I’ll lend someone something at the spur of the moment. These days if it is a CD or DVD I’ll lend out a copy rather than an original but sometimes there isnt time to make a copy and I part temporarily, with a minuscule amount of reluctance, with the original. More so with books. Now, since in the past I have lent out various books, cds, DVDs or computer games where I haven’t had them back in the same condition I lent them out in, within an acceptable time or indeed at all, I tend now to keep a note of who has what. This note just tends to sit there, burning into my memory and the longer somebody has something the more it burns. Resentment builds and I become markedly different toward the person. Such is my nature.

I follow an unwritten edict. If I borrow something like a book or a CD/DVD from someone I

  • Ensure it is kept in exactly the same condition that I received it in
  • Endeavour to have it back to them within a month of borrowing it
  • Tell the person what I thought of said item in either a long review or a short discussion
  • Copy it for my own consumption if I really like it
  • Nip out and buy the book if I’m enjoying it and it’s taking me an embarrassingly long time to read it (I run my fingers along the lines)
  • return the item on demand but feel slightly embarrassed

Naturally, and surely I’m not alone in this respect, I expect the people I lend my items out to to do the same.

Of course that isn’t what always happens. Currently G of the genus Homo Lupus has my prized copy of Ghostwatch and also one of my Screenselect LOVEFilm rentals and because I’m a big girly poof, and I don’t like asking people for things, I’ll just let it lie and let the resentment build up until I forget about it entirely only to feel resentment once more when I develop a desire to watch, read or listen to the item. Thing is I fear, irrationally, that by saying “Ooh! G do you still have those DVD’s?” he’ll say something like “No fuck off I’ve turned your shite into compost” or just lie about not having watched them yet or I’ll get them back all covered in blackberry jam and with the word FRISBEE written on it in crayon.

Then again, sometimes I worry too much….

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Author: stegzy

Once, long ago, I wrote frequently on Livejournal. I then moved to Blogspot, where I discovered that blogging requires an audience. So I moved back to LJ. Then over to Dreamwidth, back to LJ, up the road of self hosting with Muckybadger before giving up entirely and moving over to Wordpress. It was at that moment I decided I would spread my compostual nonsense simultaneously across the blogosphere like some rancid margarine. And so here I am. I am a badger. But then I'm not really a badger. I am a human. With badger like tendencies. I am a writer, a film producer and a social commentator. I am available for Breakfast TV shows, documentaries and chats in the pub with journalists.

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