I got an automated reply from the nice councillor chappy
I made some extensive revisions to the email I said I was going to send yesterday (see original post for edits) and emailed the chap. It was while I was writing I thought “Hang on a minute! The house is a shit tip! I don’t want prospective councillors calling at my gaff cos I’ll have nowhere for them to sit!”. Anyway, further research into the local election situation reveal that there are 2 election thingies I have to vote for. Yes 2.
The first is to elect someone to the parish council. As it stands there are 6 candidates running:-
- Pat Doyle (seems to be some ex-Mayor of some description and backed by William Ennis, who I believe, used to be some big in the local corridors of power and used to live in the house next door to Gnomepants Towers)
- Glen Gascoigne – Some chap that sounds like he should be playing golf professionally or something.
- Kath Griffiths – Hopefully not related to David Griffiths, he of the silver spoon and BBC B of childhood. Proposed by Alex Vodden. Sounds a bit dodgy to me does that.
- Sylvia Nixon – Withdrawn. I am hoping this means she is no longer a candidate and not her political frame of mind.
- Donald Robinson – Jam empire heir?
- Alex Vodden – He, who I only found out was a he yesterday, who has a website, resembles Exeter from This Island Earth and likes to dress up as Father Christmas. It appears he was proposed by a certain John D Griffiths which may or may not be some associate of Kath Griffiths. Indeed David Griffiths, he of school, sometimes used the name John. Though I might be making that bit up just to make it sound scandalous.
Then there is the borough electoral candidates. Of which there appears to be 4. Only Mr (yes Mister. Not Missis or Miss or Lord or Grand Poobar) or Councillor Vodden appears to have a website. The candidates are as follows:-
- Marjorie Cale-Morgan – Lives in Sheffield. Conservative. No website. No pictures. Possibly a candidate made up by some men in boiler room underneath the Town Hall.
- Robert Garrett – Related to Lesley? The world famous opera singer? Possibly. However he is a member of a fascist and racist political party so I don’t think I will be voting for him. He is also not Robert S Garrett, the American Athlete, Gold medal winner of the 1896 olympics or Robert Garrett the Neil Diamond Impressionist, though he might be and just feel ashamed of that.
- Dave North – Independent candidate. Mysterious leafletter. He shoved not one but two leaflets through my letterbox. This is not him. He apparently made some comments about motor bikers on Shafton Tip earlier this year. I make comments everyday. Like they make a difference.
- Danny Oates – Not any of these. Though secretly I am hoping he is the toy maker. Liberal Democrat
- and Alex Vodden – Him again. He’s like a fucking WDH van (ie everywhere I go). I still think he looks like Exeter from This Island Earth. Labour.