The Compostual Existentialist

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Worms

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So I managed to do about 60% of what I wanted to do last weekend. This week has been bollocks, not only have I contracted “meh”itus but I’ve also had to battle with my own apathy in order to get things done. There’s still loads out standing. I’ve got a horrible feeling that the misery monkeys have got hold of me once more. I miss being around other people. They’re like a drug which I soak up like a sponge. Hence the recent “Meh”ness. Lack of inspiration. People fueled inspiration. Its all well and good goofing about on LJ with people but its not entirely the same as sitting off in a pub or café or office chatting shit. So I feel like I’m drying up. Creative wise. I desperately need some non-related human contact.

So on to the weekend just gone. What did I do?

Well on Saturday Mrs Gnomepants, her sister, Meredith and I paid a visit to Ossett farmers market which was pleasant. The day culminated in a surprise Dr Who postponing dinner which wasnt really so much of a surprise because it got to about 4pm and I was like “Oooh I can watch Doctor Who at 7pm” and I immediately realised that the fetes (sic) would conspire against me and so the tombola of fortune drew a lucky dip. Thus it came to pass that I was dining with the inlaws on the splendid Old Yorkshire Flavor sausages (and before you ask they were from Yorkshire and they weren’t old).

Any road, Sunday involved a trek down the A1 to Blythe to visit Philip-ex-Brighton and Jaq who in turn were being visited by Emma-ex-Brighton and Sarah-in-Brighton (though for the course of the day she was Sarah-in-Blyte). They are people whom Mrs Gnomepants lived with when she was in University. We adjourned to the Red Hart pub to sample their mini beer festival in the rain. This was very pleasant. Followed by further culinary adventures in Philip-ex-Brighton & Jaq’s dining room. This too was pleasant.

Monday was a bank holiday. In a complete fit of Mehness the wife and I spent the day watching Spiderman and Spiderman 2 in preparation for an evening visit to the cinema to see Spiderman 3. Which was enjoyable right up to the last 2 minutes when somebody in the cinema who was sat behind me allowed their mobile phone to ring. This distracted me from the film and so I felt like someone had said “Actually I have VD” just as I was about to spooge my load.

Hunger got the better of us. So Mrs Gnomepants and I went off to Grimethorpe Pizza & Kebabs for a kebab.

Tuesday I was off. What started off as a relaxing day catching up with my online thingies ended in a shouty match and a clear out of the back room in order to decorate. The computer is now in the dining room. The back room is in a shocking mess and peeling off the wall paper revealed all manner of horrors and monstrosities. Wall paper from the 1930s (possibly with arsenic colouring), Damp proofing paper (silver backed tar) which for some reason was all over the chimney breast distemper (which is some weird powdery stuff that old house owners put on the wall) and spongey plaster.

Wednesday was back at work. My aspergers-in-denial afflicted manager decided he was to spend the week in the helpdesk so that he could tell me that I was doing things the wrong way every 2 hours when in fact I was doing things exactly in the way he wanted me to do them just in a way better for me. By Thursday I was sick of it so I stabbed him in the throat with his Quantum Super Loader 3, hid the body in the loos in Pontefract Park and had his car crushed and stuffed into Pontefract slag heap. Of course nobody saw me do it so it wasnt murder it was just an un fortunate accident.

The wife has gone and organised a girls only night out tonight leaving me in a social vacuum. So in retaliation I was planning on nipping into Wakefield after work for a couple of pints instead of going to the sodding Three Horseshoes in Brierley (or AT Brierley as their signage says). I’ll be in Fernandez at about 5ish if you want to join me….I’ll be the miserable weirdo in the corner reading a book and trying not to start smoking again.

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Author: stegzy

Once, long ago, I wrote frequently on Livejournal. I then moved to Blogspot, where I discovered that blogging requires an audience. So I moved back to LJ. Then over to Dreamwidth, back to LJ, up the road of self hosting with Muckybadger before giving up entirely and moving over to Wordpress. It was at that moment I decided I would spread my compostual nonsense simultaneously across the blogosphere like some rancid margarine. And so here I am. I am a badger. But then I'm not really a badger. I am a human. With badger like tendencies. I am a writer, a film producer and a social commentator. I am available for Breakfast TV shows, documentaries and chats in the pub with journalists.

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