The Compostual Existentialist

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I saw a sign today in college. Free Chlamydia Screening.

When I was at school chlamydia of course hadn’t been invented, AIDS was something gays and junkies died of and bonking was something other people did. Perhaps it was just me though. I remember David Griffiths regaling us with tales of his sexual conquests and Ray often boasted about his. Of course nobody believed them 100%, maybe 60%. But being at an all boys school things nookie was something other people did. Bare in mind my first proper girlfriend, Laura, (who went to the neighbouring all girls school) was a believer in the “after marriage” idiom. Something she changed her mind about in her early 20’s much to my chagrin. No, nookie only happened to other people.

Of course the older I got, the more adventurous my peers became, even Guy who had left school at 16 to pursue a career in motor mechanics seemed to be getting some. Me? Nah, sex was something that happened to other people. Since then and the older I’ve got, I’ve heard tales of teenage wild sexual abandonment from the likes of jimrock, Mrs Gnomepants, Scott, Min and other contemporaneous peers. I’ve come to accept that instead of hanging out at the church hall, singing in choirs, mixing with moody types and other outcasts I should have been down town, larging it up and getting laid.

So when I see such signs in places frequented by youth I get a slight tinge of jealousy. How come they’re getting it and I didn’t? The answer is, of course, attitudes have changed and it is expected that the youth today would be humping each other like rabbits without a care in the world [and also they’re not hanging round in church halls with suspicious asexuals]. Then see, adverts have changed, the portrayal of sex in the media in general has changed, sex sells, sex is forced into our eyes daily whether it be bra adverts on billboards or the latest episode of In the Night Garden. Well that’s how I see it anyway.

Of course since my teenage years I’ve had “adventures”. I’ve had numerous partners, fumbles in the dark and one night stands; hell at one point if it moved I’d have probably fucked it, but still that little voice at the back of my head says “yeah but you didn’t get any when you were at school” Maybe it’s a generational thing. Maybe at 34 I am a member of the generation where nookie was an after thought and romance and courtship a forethought. I don’t know. Maybe I’m just the product of an earlier set of ideals. Whatever, it doesn’t bother me, I don’t feel any animosity or regret over the fact I didn’t get laid until I was 21. I suppose I empathise with the youth that are similar to how I was, having the fact that they aren’t out catching all sorts of diseases from mucky girls, thrust in their faces when walking through college. It’s enough to put anyone off….

Kids today eh?

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Author: stegzy

Once, long ago, I wrote frequently on Livejournal. I then moved to Blogspot, where I discovered that blogging requires an audience. So I moved back to LJ. Then over to Dreamwidth, back to LJ, up the road of self hosting with Muckybadger before giving up entirely and moving over to Wordpress. It was at that moment I decided I would spread my compostual nonsense simultaneously across the blogosphere like some rancid margarine. And so here I am. I am a badger. But then I'm not really a badger. I am a human. With badger like tendencies. I am a writer, a film producer and a social commentator. I am available for Breakfast TV shows, documentaries and chats in the pub with journalists.

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