Last time

This is the last time I’m making plans for the weekend.

 

What I Planned

What actually happened

Torchwood version
 Get up at 9  Got up at 9:30. In a bad mood because Mrs Mop
had been pissing everywhere last night (including on my
jeans).
 “Morning! By the way I’m bisexual”
 Have healthy breakfast  Had bacon and sausage barm from dirty flowershop “I’ll have a bacon and sausage barm. With your sausage because I might be gay.”
 Go to farm shop for veg  Waiting for windowcleaning/car fixing brother-in-law to finish up  “You can chamois leather my bum after you’ve done those windows because I’m Omnisexual.”
 Go to new farm shop for a poke around  Sitting round writing LJ posts  “Let’s have group sex and be done with it.”
 Come home and cook delicious food  Even that tin of brussell sprouts is now starting to look appealing  “You can eat me”
 Relax in the thought that no more expense until next pay day  Mrs Mop has had a flare up of her cystitis. That’s another £60 I’ve go to find.  “Are you the vet? I’m a sleazy time travelling lounge lizard with added animal magnetism”
 Take over the world  Thwarted by George W Bush ” And I would have gotten away with it if it wasnt for you pesky kids. Fancy some sex.”
Advertisements