The Compostual Existentialist

Wordpress flavour with added crunchy bits

Supermarket law

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Supermarkets are to be allowed to provide legal advisories to customers in 2011.

On the back of that, let us consider the supermarketisation of legal advice.

Scenario 1 – The low price “Value” legal advice

CrimAlright mate, the coppers ‘ave said av killed someone.
Supermarket Legal AdvisoryWell you have no choice but to plead guilty.

Scenario 2 – The Supermarket Own Brand Legal Advice

CrimOh dear it appears that I may have killed someone
Supermarket Legal AdvisoryThat’s ok sir we at Tesco will quite happily stand by you though it may be a 50-50 chance that you might get sent down and bummed in the prison showers by a tattooed bear and share a cell with Purple Akie.

Scenario 3 – The Finest legal advice

CrimAh, it appears that I am accused of some sort of killing
Supermarket Legal AdvisoryOh don’t worry about it, people die all the time. It’s very inconsiderate. Honestly I imagine that we’ll have no problem persuading the judge that this is all a terrible mistake and you can be sitting back at home with a nice Finest Steak and ale pie and a cup of Finest Virgin Picked Earl Grey tea before you know it. And you’ll also get 300 club card points for your inconvenience.

Yet another nail in the coffin of the high street. When the office workers go, so do the sandwich shops and other ancillary retailers. Coming soon, supermarkets to provide GP Surgeries and tanning salons. Honestly, there’s no end to this steamrollering. I fear for the “traditional” British way of life, the economy, the environment and the state of our towns and villages as more and more shops become vacant and the consumer migrates to out of town shopping villages and supermarkets.

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Author: stegzy

Once, long ago, I wrote frequently on Livejournal. I then moved to Blogspot, where I discovered that blogging requires an audience. So I moved back to LJ. Then over to Dreamwidth, back to LJ, up the road of self hosting with Muckybadger before giving up entirely and moving over to Wordpress. It was at that moment I decided I would spread my compostual nonsense simultaneously across the blogosphere like some rancid margarine. And so here I am. I am a badger. But then I'm not really a badger. I am a human. With badger like tendencies. I am a writer, a film producer and a social commentator. I am available for Breakfast TV shows, documentaries and chats in the pub with journalists.

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