It took me an hour to drive the 5 mile journey home from Barnsley last night. Mostly because of the snow but also because of the dense traffic and increasing number of road closures due to the construction of the new Cudworth Bypass (which only just bypasses Cudworth and serves little purpose other than to carve up countryside).

It might help if you looked at this map for points of reference. First, trying to get off the A61 and onto the turning lane for the Monk Bretton road proved impossible as all the cars were backed up, most likely because the road to Monk Bretton off the A61 (Burton Road) is up hill and, in a situation which will become familiar, cars were just wheel spinning trying to get up the hill.

So I turned up Carlton Road instead. Which was daft. Carlton Road is just one big hill and my little Clio was wheel spinning and having a right hard time getting up. Furthermore, because children are a danger to cars, there are child prevention road schemes all along that road so that drivers are tricked by the bumps in the road into thinking they haven’t run over any children. So because of those bumps it was down to a 10mph crawl.

Then I made another mistake. Instead of heading back on myself, I thought I’d nip down Industry road and through Carlton. Of course, it wasn’t until I got to Industry Road that I remembered that the Cudworth Bypass wasn’t going anywhere near it so the Council, in their wisdom, had closed this road meaning that I’d have to drive through Carlton with the intention of turning down Shaw Lane.

Well that was until I got to Carlton and remembered that Shaw Lane was closed…..because of the Cudworth Bypass.

So out came the sat nav. Which told me to head into Royston via Midland Road and back through Shafton. Well yes…good idea…but the cars trying to get up Midland road AND the cars trying to get up Station Road into Royston were just sliding and sliding and slipping about. So I turned back. I stupidly turned back. Back along Fish Dam Lane, which also ends in a hill. A hill of ice.

By this time I was starting to get a bit frustrated as I knew the road into Cudworth, Pontefract Road, turns into…yes…you guessed it…a hill. An ice covered hill. Which cars were having a right royal time getting up.

Some how I made it. I made it back past the Three Horse Shoes on Pontefract Road and towards Brierley. The nice buses that had gone before me had kindly churned up the ice and snow. With Gnomepants manor in sight, I turned into the lane with no name.

And promptly slid back out again.

I parked up. Walked up to Gnomepants Manor. Got my spade out of the shed. Walked back and did the job that the Good Lifes at the house at the end of the LWNN always forget/don’t give a toss about unless you’re there when they are. I shovelled snow. Shovelled like a bugger.

I got in at 7pm. I was very cold. I was annoyed. So annoyed. So the least you can do is read this entry.

Author: stegzy

Once, long ago, I wrote frequently on Livejournal. I then moved to Blogspot, where I discovered that blogging requires an audience. So I moved back to LJ. Then over to Dreamwidth, back to LJ, up the road of self hosting with Muckybadger before giving up entirely and moving over to Wordpress. It was at that moment I decided I would spread my compostual nonsense simultaneously across the blogosphere like some rancid margarine. And so here I am. I am a badger. But then I'm not really a badger. I am a human. With badger like tendencies. I am a writer, a film producer and a social commentator. I am available for Breakfast TV shows, documentaries and chats in the pub with journalists where I am more than qualified enough to talk confidently about absolute shite and bollocks.

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