This morning I was overjoyed at the prospect that I wouldn’t have to navigate to Rugby having been told on Friday that I should go to LemSpa. On arrival at the Leamington Spa campus I was greeted not by smiles but by glowers and “What the fuck are you doing here? You’re supposed to be in Rugby” said in the tone of “Are you a fucking idiot?” to which I replied “I was told to come here today” in the tone of “If you’re fucking me about I will stab you in the eyes and suck out your liver through your nose”. The resulting response of “You’ll have to go to Rugby” said in the tone of “Not only am I a fuckwit manager but my manager is a bigger fuckwit” received a “You’re fucking joking” (exclaimed in the style of someone not amused in the slightest) which in turn received a “No I’m not” in the tone of someone telling you you’re favourite cat has died in an accident with a blender in a microwave.
So it was Rugby this morning. I said “If I wasn’t so hard up I might be mildly amused” with a look of “Piss me about again and I will eat your children using your legs and arms as cutlery” to the big boss.
Typically in education there are far too many managers. Not only do I have a boss, but I also have a small boss, a big boss and a gargantuan boss all doing their best to ensure that every member of staff is micromanaged to ensure that their jobs are seen as valid. 2 months and counting….
Moreover, today was a case of arse wiping, putting up with teachers who seriously should know better and counting things. Mostly computers. For example:
Gnomepants, Go to room 112 and count how many computers there are, small boss
So I went and counted.
Small boss, There are 19 computers in room 112, Gnomepants
Five minutes passed
Gnomepants, go to rooom 113 and count how many computers there are, Small boss
this carried on for most of the day. Walking to the far reaches of the college to count computers which, I realised, small boss could quite easily have looked up on the asset database herself.
By 2pm I replied
My finger hovered over the send button. Unfortunately I slipped and clicked on the delete button instead. FML
Two months to go….