I made a mistake. A truly terrible mistake.
I’ve ordered a brand new HTC Desire HD as a replacement to my irritatingly fantastic yet annoyingly Windows Mobile 6.5 HTC HD2. Mistake you ask? Surely the Desire HD is everything a technoaddict could ever want until the next must have comes out?! Indeed! It is. Sadly they’re not released until 11th October. Delivery is expected on the 12th October.
That is an annoying 10 days away.
I could be dead before then.
I told zoefruitcake not to let me buy things in advance or over the internet because I cannot be trusted to be patient.
It hasn’t come yet…..
Pillow talk this morning was about food. Food is a common bond between zoefruitcake and I. We both love food but while I can eat everything untainted by parsnips and marmite, 
the fruitcake can only eat things that are untainted by dairy. Which can be problematic, especially as Indian food uses a lot of Ghee which is milk based. Meh.
Anyway, the discussion got onto how bored I am with food lately. There is nothing new. Realistically, when you strip things down to basics, we tend to have four groupings of food:-
- Slabs of burnt meat
- Lumps of stuff covered in sauce
- Bits and pieces with stodge
- Stinky sausages and pickled stuff
Green stuff is mostly ancillary (unless you’re vegetarian which I am not) but also fits in those categories.
Internationally, these things vary but typically the national dishes tend to fit in these categories. Let us look at the continents:
| Americas | Food typical type | |
| North America (and Canada) | 1 (ie burgers, ribs n shit) | |
| Central America | 3 (spicy) | |
| Southern America | 1 | |
| Europe | ||
| UK | 1, 2, 3 | |
| France | 2 | |
| Germany | 4 | |
| Northern bits | 4 | |
| Russian and Ex soviet bits | 4 | |
| Portugal | 1,2,3 | |
| Spain | 2,3,4 (occasionally spicy) | |
| Italy | * | |
| Greece | 1,2,3,4 | |
| Middle eastern bits | 1,3 (spicy) | |
| Africa | ||
| Northern Bits | 1,3 (spicy to disguise the rotten meat) | |
| Central Bits | Food parcels/ each other | |
| Southern Bits | 1 | |
| Austral-Asian Regions | ||
| Australia | 1 | |
| India | 2 | |
| Indonesia | Anything that moves, 3 | |
| China | Anything that moves, 2, 3 | |
| Japan | Anything (including poisonous things) | |
I think I’ve covered most regions of the world in my sweeping generalisations, and this is purely based on my global food trotting (done mostly in the safety of the UK and the restaurants there) but as you can see, there is nothing new! Food has become sooooo boring. Even new food….nouvelle cuisine…I mean what’s that? Massive plates with a teaspoon of matter in the middle all for the bargain price of £50. Yum. Not.
Suggest me something new….go on….dare you…..
My new phone still hasn’t come yet……
The Compostual Existentialist 