Poetry Week 2011: Car washing

Car Washing by Stegzy Gnomepants

Fill the bucket
From the tap
Grab the sponge
Give the chamois a rap
Get out a rag
And the shampoo
Cos’ washing the car
Is what we do

Sponge off the dirt
And rub the bumper
Polish the wheel trims
Don’t wet your jumper!
Go get the vacuum
Cleaner from t’shed
Don’t forget the insides
Just like I said

Wipe down the dashboard
Empty the ash tray
Clean out the rubbish
You haven’t thrown away
Get out the wax
And polish the metal
Nip inside
And put on the kettle

I’ll need a cuppa
After all this hard work
Telling you what to do
Just like a jerk

Ah thank you

Published by

stegzy

Once, long ago, I wrote frequently on Livejournal. I then moved to Blogspot, where I discovered that blogging requires an audience. So I moved back to LJ. Then over to Dreamwidth, back to LJ, up the road of self hosting with Muckybadger before giving up entirely and moving over to Wordpress. It was at that moment I decided I would spread my compostual nonsense simultaneously across the blogosphere like some rancid margarine. And so here I am. I am a badger. But then I'm not really a badger. I am a human. With badger like tendencies. I am a writer, a film producer and a social commentator. I am available for Breakfast TV shows, documentaries and chats in the pub with journalists where I am more than qualified enough to talk confidently about absolute shite and bollocks.