What’s gone on?

  • Utter tosh

    Inspired by a peculiar and unnecessary rewording of a popular nursery rhyme that I heard to my horror over the weekend. I give you:- Politically correct Nursery Educational Preschool Rhymes Prose by Stegzy Gnomepants

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  • Grumpy

    1. I should learn to keep my mouth shut. Sometimes when it is open and the brain is still half asleep it develops a mind of its own and says things that others misunderstand as malicious, spiteful and hateful. 2. I need to stop being so bloody honest. I have an interview tomorrow all day.…

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  • You know in films like Lord of The Rings, and the heroes have scoured the countryside for allies and have amassed a tiny army of 9 or 10 people (probably including people like Brian Blessed, Colm Meaney and Sean Bean)? Then someone like Liam Neeson espies the Orcs arriving in the distance. Our heroes feel confident…

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  • Beyond comprehension

    Imagine, if you will, the following scenario:- *tinkle tinkle of shop door bell* Fishmonger:-  Hello sir how can I help Customer:- Yes I would  like some spanners please Fishmonger:- Yes well you might need next door as this is the fishmongers Customer:- **hmph** that’s not good enough

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  • Conferences

    Conferences

    stupid user:- Hello stegzy – Hello stupid user:- I am holding a conference. You might have heard of it. It is the Conference for the Incredibly Boring stegzy – erm….no sorry…must have missed that one stupid user:- Well you might know it as the Department of Too Much Grant Money. stegzy – Oh yes…right… stupid user:- Well as I said…I…

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  • Extract

    Extract from the journal of Gnomepants – “Liverpool, July 2006. Too hot to type. Too muggy for brain to function correctly. Have been holed up in this office for some hours now. Glorious sunshine rages outside. The men are praying for their souls. The heat is too much for some and one or two have…

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  • Ok..It wasnt a funeral in Berlin. It was a funeral in Barnsley, Cudworth to be exact. I didn’t see any crazy Russian generals either (Eeeenglish) but no matter. The funeral was very sad and there must have been about 150 people there.

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  • There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.

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