The more eagle eyed of you will probably remember that 2007 was to be a potato free year for me.

The start of the year was good. Avoiding potatoes was initially easier than I thought. Probably because my main source of potato was crisps. Finding a maize based substitute was easy. My thanks and eternal praise to the makers of Space Raiders (15p a bag) and Doritos.

Even eating out was easy. Lack of funds and a wife bent on losing weight were good frameworks for avoiding the tuber. Of course there were one or two visits to restaurants where the potato served was simply pushed to one side.

At home it was easy too. From January right through to about July I was eating Yam instead of potato. Roasted yam made a delightful alternative and when the house crops of lettuce became harvestable, salads too became a staple diet.

Then in July something happened. I suspect it was depression. Though it could well have been some other distraction. Eitherway I found myself with a bag of crisps and, like tobacco, once you start you just can’t stop. My potato free year became a potato free six months.

Result wise? Well I didn’t gain or lose any weight. Surprisingly I didn’t halucinate either. So in all, a pointless and feeble task.

Next year? Well there is a plan afoot. More on that later.

Wet Leather

I just watched a ladder appear into view on the Gate Cam, some bloke climb up it and then look all suspicious. (You can see him in the gallery)

I then realised it was just the window cleaner.


Drama session was ok. It was mainly sorting out what the kids wanted to do. One of the girls got into a strop about something and kept letting out sighs. Nobody paid the slightest attention to her so the sighs got audibly louder until I asked her if she was having a problem breathing. After which the sighs ceased.

Returned home and got a pizza in. Of all the pizza delivery places in the area they were the quickest but their pizza was a bit shite. The kebabs from there are good though.

The pizza didn’t have any potato on it.

I have been potato free for nearly 26 days now. I feel wholesome but I haven’t lost any weight. I put that down to pizzas and the yummy Chicken Caesar wraps they sell in the college canteen.

We’ve got some proper CCTV cameras now. Going to put them up this weekend 😀


Last year I made the decision that for a year I am not going to eat any potatoes. Just to see what would happen. Would I lose weight? Would I get really sick? Would I stay the same? Would I turn into a superhero with vegetable powers like laser broccoli and ultrasonic Jerusalem artichokes?

Well…I’m about 10 days through my potato fast. So far, I have to be honest, in those 10 days I’ve had 3 chips (Freedom/French/fucker fries whatever you want to call them) and they formed part of a meal that I could not finish anyway due to my sickness this weekend. Apart from my dodgy tummy this weekend (probably brought on by some cheese or some chorizo I’ve had for a bit longer than I should have) I haven’t noticed any ill effects. Other than my bad guts this weekend I’ve felt perkier and I’ve enjoyed creating and eating my oat substitutes.

One such oat substitute was a savoury oat porridge thing cooked with onions and tomatoes. Quite nice really. Another was an oaty paste made with beef stock which didn’t really taste good but I only made 2 mouths full worth so I didn’t mind. The real crunch comes at lunch times. I’m kind of missing my beef crisps but not if you get my meaning. Because I’ve been off my food anyway I’m not really bothered by not eating them but theres a little voice in the back of my head saying “mmmmmmmm beef hula hoops” but this is the same voice that says “Mmmmm smoking is nice” and I’m learning to ignore that voice at the moment.

Also the wife mentioned my usually blackheaded nose is unusually clear and my skin is looking “nice and soft” (her words). Now this could be because of the large volumes of water I’ve been drinking over the last 5 days or it could be something else. I asked “Does it look like a potato?” she said “No”. I think its the lack of spuds….See scientific me 😉

So I suppose you’ll want some control statistics…..well…in all the fun and games I’ve not made any before I started but as we’re only 10 days through the experiment I don’t suppose that will matter too much (unless by April I’ve withered away into some stick insect weighing 10 ounces….

As of 10th January 2007 I am 5ft 11inches tall – I weigh (naked) just over 15stone. My waist is about 40cm.

Yeah that makes me a chubber….but maybe my spud free diet will change that.

Xposted to muckybadger