Channel 4’s Brat Camp

What a bunch of horrible little shits!

What an inspiration!


Brat Camp sends a bunch of arrogant, lazy, well to do, poor me’s on holiday but they dont know it to a tough camp somewhere in America. This time its a ranch run by cowboys with attitute and beards. The idea is that they get a bit of toughening up and then helped to appreciate that they can’t go through life acting like twats.

Now I can see the ethos behind it. I can grasp the reasons why 90% of the kids are the way they are. But I cant see why theres nothing like this in the UK!

Thing is I might be slightly jealous. If I was as rude, obnoxious and as naughty as any one of those kids when I was a kid I’d have felt the crack of my dads hand on my ear and sent to bed with no TV, computer, contact or whatever. Indeed if i’d even suggested that my mother should fuck off in any shape or form I wouldnt be sat here now….well I might be but I’d be using a stick to hit the keys….well maybe thats an exaggeration but I’d seriously have a cauliflower ear….Yet what do THEY get??? eh??? eh????



What is it with people today?

Theres an network outage on campus today. It has been advertised for 2 weeks at least on the Electronic poster system, CSD Announce Mailing list, huge A0 and smaller A4 posters on walls and the like. But still this afternoon alone, I have seen 20 people asking “Is there something wrong with the network?” and similar.


Fucking hell! (Pardon my french!) Theres been enough publicity about it. I mean if Britney Spears and Paris Hilton were having a lesbian tryst in the library and that was advertised on an A5 poster in the bottom of a filing cabinet locked in a white snowbound hut in the middle of the NorthPole you wouldn’t be able to move for people trying to get a look. But no! Advertise something so fucking monstrously fucking huge and people ignore it. Yeah sure we had a laugh about it all in the office this morning speculating on who would be the first person to ask “Is there a network fault?”…..Sure we chuckled and made hypothetical cocky answers. But when it becomes reality it loses its comedy effect!

I have taken it upon myself ask why people didn’t see the advertisements. 19/20 of them say honestly that they haven’t seen the announcements. Not one of them were aware of the news. Not one of them aware of the CSDAnnounce mailing list. Only one of them aware that a campus wide outage means that the WHOLE campus would be affected. Its highly amusing that the only people (the library staff appeared to be unaware of this too) that knew of the outage were those that work in CSD and the heads of the university departments.

I sent my boss the following email.

Next time there is a planned outage I will dress up as a town crier and
walk round the guild proclaiming the news shall I?

19/20 of the people I have asked politely why they were unaware of the
outage admitted that they had not seen any posters or network
announcements. They were also unaware of the CSD announce mailing list.

1/20 knew and just wanted to ask because they felt they were an
exception to the rule.

I know dressing like a town crier would portray an unprofessional image
of CSD. But I can’t see it doing much more damage than has already been

Hopefully she will pass it on to the powers that be. The Big “Oh yes I’m approachable” Boss needs to have some stern words shoved in his face. For fuck sake I don’t like looking unprofessional! But this is now strike 3 in their book…I’m sick of looking like a gimp and getting all the flack from users about the system. It is precisely the reason why I bailed out of my last job.

Grrrrrrrrrrrr. I think I need to play Y!PP to calm down

Fifthly:- A whinge about the current state of the British Music Industry

It is fairly obvious that you can’t buy talent 2 for 1 at Asda (Walmart). It is also fairly obvious that being original these days only gets you to your front door and rarely to the end of your street. (If you know what I mean. If you dont just say… please!!).

long whinge

Phones, teases and call centres

So phones. I dont like using the phone to call people and ask them for things. Even ringing for a pizza takes a great deal of courage for me. As I said yesterday, I get a wave of shyness and will try to put off using the phone till much later or until someone else takes it upon themselves to phone for me. I went into this “phobia” (though I use the word phobia lightly as its not a fear of phones its more a shyness of phones) with Sarah yesterday.

Where it all comes from


Funny thing has been going through my head recently. I’ve been watching a lot of history programs with facination and I noticed a common trend.

“SS Great Eastern was built by Isambard Kindom Brunell”
“King Edward the umpteenth built Conway castle”
“Stephenson built the Rocket”

Did they fuck!

What a load of bollocks. THEY didnt build them. I doubt IKB even knew how to use a rivetter, I can’t imagine Stephenson working over a hot forge making the necessary components for a steam engine and I refuse to believe that King Edward the thingymabob was a wiz at grouting. Its just not right.

Why do they teach kids like this? You know what i mean??

“The Emperor Hadrian built a wall across the Scottish border” – Did he fuck….1000’s of Romans and slaves built the fucker; Hadrian just sat in his villa somewhere poncing about in one of his orgies

“Captain Cook discovered Austrailia” – bollocks he did, are you telling me he sailed that boat on his own? Did he fuckaslike!

“Hitler bombed London” – Hitler flew all them planes….at the same time? come on give me some credibility…

“Henry VIII dissolved the monestaries (yeah yeah i spelt that wrong)” – what in a giant glass of water? Noooooooo his men did.

Yet we teach kids that slaves built the pyramids and its taken as read that lots of people worked on some of todays wonderously tall buildings. But its these people that are forgotten. So I propose…instead of telling kids:-

so and so built the wotsit

tell them correctly:-

so and so supervised the construction of the wotsit and took all the credit while hard working people like you and I didnt get any credit or thanks

I think that might help.