Doctor Quackers

So i went to the doctors today to pick up my prescription meds and I thought I’d get my flu jab while I was there.

“Come in” he said “Have I seen you since you had your bloods done”
I affirmed that he hadn’t and asked him how I got on.
“If I were you” he said “I’d stop drinking alcohol entirely”
When I’d picked my chin up off the floor he explained there were higher than normal levels of Urea in my blood which, he said, is an indication that I have gout and gout can lead to arthritus. Whatsmore is he was surprised that the Liverpool doctors hadn’t checked it out either…..

Gout! At my age!!

So…I cant smoke, I cant have cream cakes, I cant drink, I cant eat meat, I’m not allowed to fry in lard…In fact everything I enjoy is bad for me…FUCKING HELL!

I’m expecting him to tell me that LJ is bad for me next…..

Published by

stegzy

Once, long ago, I wrote frequently on Livejournal. I then moved to Blogspot, where I discovered that blogging requires an audience. So I moved back to LJ. Then over to Dreamwidth, back to LJ, up the road of self hosting with Muckybadger before giving up entirely and moving over to Wordpress. It was at that moment I decided I would spread my compostual nonsense simultaneously across the blogosphere like some rancid margarine. And so here I am. I am a badger. But then I'm not really a badger. I am a human. With badger like tendencies. I am a writer, a film producer and a social commentator. I am available for Breakfast TV shows, documentaries and chats in the pub with journalists where I am more than qualified enough to talk confidently about absolute shite and bollocks.