Dickie Davis

I’ve got a bite.

Its nasty. Two little bite marks and a massive bruise. I woke up with it yesterday morning. At first I thought Mrs Gnomepants had been kicking my leg in her sleep but when I showed it to her last night she pointed out the bite marks.

In other news, we had a lovely new £1200 fireplace installed. Living flame effect cast iron bastard. A picture to follow.

We also welcomed back Mrs Gnomepant’s sisters and Meredith from their trip to Disney. From what they tell me there wasn’t anywhere healthy to eat in that part of Merricar with everything covered in fat, sugar and salt. Land of the “free to have a heart attack”? Dunno. I wasn’t there and never have been so I couldn’t comment. I did however gratefully receive a selection of Hershey bars but sadly no root beer. Root beer is a rare commodity in the UK in a similar way to the rarity of the Dodo in parts of the Pacific. But I got a nice mug instead.