The Compostual Existentialist

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School Report

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I’ve done something similar to this before

 

School of Life
 Subject GCSE
Grade
 Previous Grade  Now Comment
 English  B B  B+  Though Stegzy’s writing style has improved of late he has been becoming increasingly late in submitting work. While it is understood that he has other commitments recently, this is still no excuse for shoddy lazy and sloppy work like memes and Youtube posts of which there have been a few of late.
 Maths  B  C  C-  It was horrifying to see Stegzy trying to work out angles and the length of the hypotenuse. It is feared that his wood work may suffer greatly by this. Also while his comprehension of  metric weights and measures have been of exceptionally high standard, it is felt that his use of imperial measures still leaves a lot to be desired.
 Chemistry  C  B  C  Standards are slipping. While his skills in the kitchen laboratory have been of exceptional standard, Stegzy’s work has of late been sloppy and apathetic. Experiments in the carbonisation of bread are hardly substitutes for examining the sublimation of Custard. However he is still aware what the Haber Process is all about and twice in recent weeks he has been able to pop “Covalent Bonds” into the conversation.
 Physics  C C  C While  Stegzy’s ability to waffle “Coffee table” physics is still quite strong, standards in the electronics department have been slipping. Possibly down to lack of motivation. Surprisingly he was able to describe the basic physics behind aerodynamics in a recent conversation
 Biology  C  B  D-  Oh dear. What has gone wrong here. Stegzy’s sloppy style, poor attention to basic biological systems and apathy will no doubt bring about his downfall. It is uncertain if this downward standard of pulmonary experimentation and increasing obsession with fatty acids will prove detrimental to his future.
 French  D  E  D-  It did not go unnoticed that Stegzy has used French in at least 3 livejournal posts of late and that he did actually say Parlez-vous anglais? in a telephone conversation with a French native just this past week.
 Spanish  D  D  D-  Zapatos? Zapatos? is that all Stegzy can manage these days? Must try harder.
 History  D  C  B  Very impressive. Stegzy’s historical knowledge has improved of late. His wistful studying of Wikipedia of a lunch break has obviously paid off. It is also encouraging to note that Stegzy’s interest in local history has also taken on new energies.
 Music  D C+  C  Stegzy’s performance at the last Christmas carol service left a lot to be desired. It is also felt that his music tastes have become detrimental to his development.
 English Literature  D  B  C  Sloppy sloppy sloppy. Harry Potter indeed! And not to mention poor quality crime fiction. Things must improve!
 Religious Education  D  B  –  Who is this guy?
 Art  E  C  D  Doodling on napkins and in the margin of workbooks does not count as constructive drawing. Though his sketch and technical drawing of a possible cabinet project was impressive. Even if the angles were slightly wrong.
 Latin  E  F  E  Having successfully translated a motto on a coat of arms things can be said to have improved slightly
 P.E.  E  U  U  Unless Stegzy attends more PE sessions he will find it difficult in later life to progress beyond the job centre.
 Attendance  B+  B-  A*  Stegzy’s absences from work and life have vastly improved of late. It may be that life in the country has proven beneficial to his health or possibly because he doesn’t necessarily have to share an office with many people.
 Home Ec.  –  –  B  Stegzy could have been a star pupil, but burning the non-stick off the frying pan was probably not a good idea.
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Author: stegzy

Once, long ago, I wrote frequently on Livejournal. I then moved to Blogspot, where I discovered that blogging requires an audience. So I moved back to LJ. Then over to Dreamwidth, back to LJ, up the road of self hosting with Muckybadger before giving up entirely and moving over to Wordpress. It was at that moment I decided I would spread my compostual nonsense simultaneously across the blogosphere like some rancid margarine. And so here I am. I am a badger. But then I'm not really a badger. I am a human. With badger like tendencies. I am a writer, a film producer and a social commentator. I am available for Breakfast TV shows, documentaries and chats in the pub with journalists.

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