Over dinner stegzy – picking up telephone in mock panic Oh shit
Mrs Gnomepants – what?
stegzy – dialling number hurriedly I hope she’s ok
Mrs Gnomepants – Who? what?
stegzy – Shh Somewhere in Barnsley a mobile phone rings
Rlindz – hello?
stegzy – hello? Are you ok? I was worried. It’s 7pm and you haven’t called yet. Do you need a doctor? Or the police? Has someone hurt you?
Rlindz – You’re a cheeky monkey you are
stegzy – Are you ok then? Just say no if there is someone holding you hostage.
Rlindz – Yes I’m fine
stegzy – Oh good. I’ll call off the search party.
Rlindz – Is that all?
stegzy – Yes thanks Hangs up telephone
Mrs Gnomepants – in astonished amusement I can’t believe you just did that.
stegzy – Well she might have been injured.