Bloody good

So I’m sat here in the garden overlooking the lane with no name. Parasol erected, bench nicely placed in the shade and a can of cool cold beer.

This morning I had a trip to the dentist. £44 for a bit of metal to be stuffed into a hole. 20 minutes work. Tell you, if someone hadn’t told me dentists die young I’d have considered it as a career. Bollocks to that really, the prospect of gazing into peoples gobs to see what yick they’ve been eating has never appealed to me. Still £44 for 20 mins work is not bad going at any rate.

Being out of full time “productive” work means I have been able to enjoy the sun a lot more than I would have over recent years. Typically, in the past, for me at least, the week would be spent swealtering in a hot, air unconditioned office with my sweaty undercrackers eating into my bum crevice and my shirt damp with perspiration. Meanwhile I’d be dealing with irritated irritable fucktards too full of their own self importance to take advice from those that know better who are more irritating than usual because they too would be festering in the heat. Then the weekend would come and with it, clouds laden with rain and misery. Almost as if the universe is telling you that your life is bobbins and that you’re stuck in a thankless job 9-5 365/6 and just to make it worse on your days off you are forbidden to enjoy hot days because you are not some unemployed loafer or stinkingly rich fucktard on some golf course in Surrey.

But these lovely hot days spent whittling in the garden overlooking the lane with no name are sacred. Blessed be. I intend to enjoy them. As come the end of the degree, no doubt I’ll be back in some sweaty bollock office wishing I was at home wanking it off in the garden with a can of cold beer. But until then. Let no man come between me and my afternoons in the garden.

Indeed, I say no man for as I type, whittling away in the garden overlooking the lane with no name, I recall the wife and her edict: “While you were away, I noticed a few other bits you’d missed when painting. You can see to that next week”. So that’s another coat of paint then…..

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