The Compostual Existentialist

Wordpress flavour with added crunchy bits

Hope – A post

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When I was a nipper, I hoped for a shiny new bike. Times were hard in 1970’s so I ended up with a polished and touched up Raleigh Tomahawk previously owned by my brothers. Of course, as time passed and affluence increased so did my aspirations for gifts. December would come and I would sit by the fire with Argos Catalogue in hand and scour the pages chirping “I’ll have that and that and that”. Hope had dissolved into desire and want. As time progressed and the value of money became more apparent. My desires became hopes once more and I would hope for the latest electronics but never actually getting them for example a VIC20 instead of an Atari console. Not that I was ungrateful for such gifts. Still, it would have been nice to play Asteroids instead of Wacky Waiters.

Spin forward a couple of decades and hope took a different form. I no longer hoped for material goods but desire never faded. Instead hopes turned to aspirations. I would hope that I would get good grades at school. I would hope that I got a girlfriend. I would hope that I would embark on a career after school. Sadly none of that happened and I began to lose faith in the concept of hope. I never got the girlfriend, I never got the grades, I never got the career. In my depressed misogynistic period of unemployment of the mid 90’s I would muse on various concepts. What was hope? How did it fit in with life? Was hope and aspiration the same thing? What was for dinner? Could I hope for a nice juicy steak?

I see the concept of hope as a facet of fortune. Like a wheel, spinning round and round with fortune at the top, disparity at the bottom and hope in between. Without hope there can be no fortune. The fuel that powers our journey from aspiration via inspiration to our destination of ambition. The hope to turn things from a rotten husk into a golden apple.

But what are my hopes now that I find myself approaching the age of 35.

I hope that I can get through the current breakdown of my marriage amicably
I hope that I graduate next year
I hope that I can get my coursework done soon
I hope I can get a really juicy steak for dinner tonight
I hope that the next 35 years bring me happiness and contentment
I hope that I get enough votes over the weekend to carry me on to the next round
I hope it bally well warms up soon as my fingers are becoming numb!

Mostly short term hopes really. What about you?

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Author: stegzy

Once, long ago, I wrote frequently on Livejournal. I then moved to Blogspot, where I discovered that blogging requires an audience. So I moved back to LJ. Then over to Dreamwidth, back to LJ, up the road of self hosting with Muckybadger before giving up entirely and moving over to Wordpress. It was at that moment I decided I would spread my compostual nonsense simultaneously across the blogosphere like some rancid margarine. And so here I am. I am a badger. But then I'm not really a badger. I am a human. With badger like tendencies. I am a writer, a film producer and a social commentator. I am available for Breakfast TV shows, documentaries and chats in the pub with journalists.

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